Fiesta in San Antonio

So, just for the record, Fiesta is a ten-day festival after Easter. In San Antonio, it generally leads to drunken parties, public drunkenness, and multiple call-offs from work. In fact, a fairly significant portion of the locals avoid Fiesta like the plague because of the high proportion of drunks involved.

So, I've been asking for five years, What does Fiesta commemorate? Nobody seemed to know. I asked everyone -- and I mean everyone -- at work today (all locals) what Fiesta commemorates. I was told it commemorates:

** Easter
** Jesus' Resurrection
** The Virgin of Guadalupe
** A fistfight between two Daughters of the Texas Revolution in the late 1800's
** Anheuser-Bush's first brewery in Texas
** Mexican Independence
** 12 instances of "Hell if I know!"

The correct answer is actually not too far from the "fistfight between two Daughters of the Texas Revolution in the late 1800's" answer -- Fiesta actually commemorates the victory in 1836 of General Sam Houston over Santa Ana at the battle of San Jacinto, guaranteeing Texas' Independence.

Go Figure.

~~JD~~

Another Peculiarity of Living in South Texas . . .

An interesting fact of the geology of South and West Texas is that the state more- or- less rests on a huge amojunt of rock, which makes drainage problematic.

VERY problematic -- as in dangerously so.

This is what the creekbed outside my place of employment looks like about five minutes after the rain starts falling. The level is about 4-5 times higher than normal, but you still can't see the water in the bed without walking up to the crest of the bed and looking down into it. But that's a lot of water to raise the level of the creek so fast, and it comes up very quickly.


After five to ten minutes elapsed time, we begin to see significant drainage in the creek; to the point that the creek is now visible outside of the bed. (In other wotds, you don't have to look into the bed to see water; just driving by it's obvious there's a lot of water moving through the creekbed, and fast, too. At this point it is no longer safe to attempt to cross the creekbed fords, so about 10% of the surface streets in San Antonio become impassable. Still some idiot tries it every time it rains, usually with fatal results. A lady and her graddaughter drowned in this creek in the picuture last year not 20 yards from where this picture was taken.



And after about fifteen minutes elapsed time, this is what we're staring at out the back window. Please note that the entire street paralleling the creek has disappeared (it's under three feet of rapidly moving water) as well as the driveway for those poor folks' house. They're pretty much trapped in there for a while, hoping that water doesn't come up much more.

This is also about the time we start evacuating the back parking lot so the employees' cars won't float away. Still, it beats the heck out of a "Code White" (snowed in the hospital and unable to leave) any old day.

~~~JD~~~

Sunday Evening, 5.75 Miles

Honestly, I have no idea what I was thinking.

Mileage: 5.75 Miles
AM Glucose: 102
Weight Loss: 22 pounds

I've been taking the doctor's advice and laying off the walking the last week, which has been driving me crazy. I decided to compromise and just walk one "Big Walkie" a week. Since I had planned to be off Monday the 30th, I figured that Sunday night after work would be the best time -- gives me a full day to recover, not to mention sleep in the next day.

So we (the dog and I) started walking the Southern Route to see how far we could get without pain; or, alternately, without too much pain. 2.85 miles later, we met the Interstate and stopped for an ice cream at Baskin-Robbins. (Considering we had to repeat the trip home, I felt like we deserved a treat.) Then we walked back, which almost killed the dog -- literally. She was limping by the time we got home, and she collapsed ont the living room floor and panted hard and fast for an hour after drinking her entire bowl of water. Plus she slept in this morning -- something she's never done before.

And I've had charley horse cramps all day. So, it was a nice, brisk turn of the leg for both of us. Then to add insult to injury, on the way back home I got called into work for the next morning, so sleeping late was out of the question. (yeah, yeah -- listen to me complain about overtime!)

However, I am seriously considering going to bed early tonight.

Very seriously.

~~JD~~

Wednesday Evening, 1.2 Miles

Mileage:: 1.2 Miles
AM Glucose: 103
Weight Loss: 20 pounds

I've been cutting back on the walking like the doctor ordered. I walk every 2nd or third day; just enough to keep the glucoses down and the muscles toned. (Such as they are.) I have a follow-up appointment tomorrow, and tomorrow morning is my last antibiotic (Cipro). Frankly, Cipro is a far better antibiotic than Keflex from my standpoint. Kelfex is to Cipro as a Camaro is to a Mercedes 500SL. They both do the job well and have plenty of power, but the Mercedes is the far superior car to ride in. Much less harsh, and far more refined.

I had two whole days off today and yesterday, and on Ariane's orders spent the day resting, watching TV, and trying hard NOT to pick up work.

It felt really good, too.

First time since the surgery I don't have a nagging pain somewhere -- that's a real good feeling. Working a double tomorrow, so I better get ot bed.

~~JD~~

Julian joins the National Honor Society

With limited commentary . . . .




Taking the oath of the NHS.




Crossing the stage to receive his Certificate.




The proud member in his snappy new suit.




The smiling graduate with his red carnation and certificate.

The school he attends is a magnet school that features a lot of Advanced Placement classes (AP). These count for a higher grade point average that made his admission to the NHS possible. Since he gets all A's and B's, the grade multipliers give him an average of 98.35% overall.

Very proud of this little fart.

~~JD~~

Yes, I'm Still in Mourning . . . .

Get over it.

Best Damned cat I ever had.

Tomorrow, I promise.

~~JD~~

Thursday Night; 3.0 Miles

Had a doctor's appointment Monday afternoon. I still have the suture infection, so they put me on another antibiotic. This makes 4 antibiotics so far -- Azithromycin the week before; some unnamed cephalosporin during surgery; Keflex for the last week, and now they've added Cipro to that. So I'm on the last two currently at the same time.

I've walked 1.2 miles Tuesday. Worked a double yesterday, so no walking there -- then walked the Northern Route to Walgreen's and back for a three mile round trip. Kicked my butt good, too. I have a follow-up appointment tomorrow after work with the surgeon, not just his Nurse Practitioner.

Going to bed now. It's been a trying day.

~~JD~~

In Memoriam; Timothy Tiberius Quincy Bear-Cat; 1988 - 2007

T-Bear died today. He was 19 years old, and one of the first cats my wife and I got after we were married.

He was gentle, affectionate, loving, and incredibly intelligent -- I swear this cat understood English. When someone was sick or tired or depressed T-Bear was there to comfort them and wash their forehead with his big, pink, rough tongue of his. Many a night he woke me up out of a dead sleep washing my forehead with that rough tongue.

A Prince amongst cats, he was Lord of all he surveyed. I found him one day at Chievres AFB in Belgium when I went in to get some medications for our other cats at the end of the day, and found him forlornly sitting on the desk. The lady behind the desk looked absolutely miserable as she asked, "You want a cat?" Well, no Thanks, I already had four (three really -- one was AWOL never to return, but we hadn't quite figured it out at that point yet.) The lady continued looking miserable as she said, "We have to put him to sleep at 5:00 pm if we can't find him a home." Apparently he had been dropped off by someone going back to the States, and rules allowed them to keep the animals for a week pending placement. Bear was so loving and sweet they immediately named him "Romeo" and made him the clinic mascot. This continued for several weeks until one morning when the clinic commander was in the middle of chewing out someone in his office (at the top of his lungs, most likely) when Bear jumped over the room divider onto the commanders desk, meowing loudly. (I suspect Bear liked the guy getting chewed out and was speaking up for him.) The commander gave them until 5:00pm to find the cat a home or he would euthanize him personally.

So into his life I walked at 4:48pm.

Ever inquisitive and curious, he once got his hind legs caught in a plastic bag from a grocery store and ran full speed through our house, that bag billowing behind him making big WHOOMP- WHOOMP- WHOOMP! noises behind him as he ran. (Much urine was recovered from that bag that day, let me tell you.) A mighty hunter, he frequently brought us offerings of birds, moles, voles, and the occaisional squirrel (!!!) until he was confined to the house in later life.

Bear went with us from Belgium to Missouri to Indiana to Texas. In Missour he met Poupette, and he immediately adopted her. They were inseparable, and he declined pretty quickly after she died last fall. In the end he lost all his teeth and was bone-thin, with sores on his feet from sleping all day and night. When he lost control of his bowels and bladder, it was time.

He was a damned good cat. Best I've ever had, maybe.

~~JD~~

Sunday Night, 2.25 Miles

Sunday, April 15th, 2007:

AM Glucose: 113
Weight Loss: 19 pounds (down 4 lbs since surgery).
Miles Walked: 2.25 Miles

Got up with a tummy-ache; by the end of church I had to lie down in the back seat for the drive home. Slept most of the afternoon, and took our traditional Sunday afternoon Walkies with Ariane (and Samantha). We took a new route to a dead-end up the street fromn our apartment and back, which just works out to 2.25 miles.

Kicked my butt, but good.

I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with my surgeon again. We'll see what happens then. I'm planning on going to work tomorrow morning, but I'm kind of doubtful.

Going to bed now -- 8:30pm. New Record.

~~JD~~

Saturday Evening, 3.75 Miles

Saturday, April 14th, 2007:

AM Glucose (4/13): 86
AM Glucose (4/14): 98
Weight Loss: 19 pounds (down 4 lbs since surgery).
Miles Walked: 3.75 Miles

When I got home last night from work after 24 hours on the antibiotic, I felt terrible. My abdomen was sore, I was dizzy and tired, and my incision had leaked through my undershirt. Arieane took us our for dinner, but after that I came home to bed quickly, and slept like a rock. (Ultram is a wonderful thing!)

Got up this morning after a solid ten-and-a-half hours of sleep and went to work to help out for an houjr or two -- then came home for our Walkies with the dog. Unlike the previous couple of times since the surgery, we started out at our usual fast-walk pace, and were very surprised to get to out ususal turn-around point (for a 2.6 mile walk) earlier than usual with energy to spare. So we decided to keep going to the next crossraod, which throws an extra 1.15 miles onto the round trip. It also throws the meanest hill I've ever walked into the trip as well.

Surprisingly enough, we finished the Walkies in 85 minutes -- still a record time nonetheless. Not too bad. I still feel like I've been ridden hard and bedded wet, but my strength seems to be returning. Heck, I feel even better than before.

Most importantly, my blood glucose has been stabilizing. Today was the first day I'd had two consecutive glucoses under 100, which is, of course, extremely important -- I'd rather not end up blind or with a stroke, thank you.

Also, I seem to have cracked some kind of a plateau post-surgery. I'd lost 15 pounds from Thanksgiving until the 1st of April; and I've lost 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks since the surgery. That's another good thing.

So, I'm feeling a little better.

~~JD~~

Thursday Night, 1.2 Miles

Went to bed last night feeling really good. Got up this morning and took off the old bandage before my shower.

My entire incision is as red as a lobster's butt in hot water.

I've been changing the dressing every day (and sometimes twice, depending on the drainage) and putting Neosporin ointment on the staples per the doctor's instructions. It's been sore, but not too bad -- until this morning.

Fortunately, I had my appointment to get the staples out this afternoon, so I showered and washed it with soap and water, patted dry, new dressing with Neosporin, and off to work. A little more sore than usual, but these damn staples are always getting caught, so I didn't thin much pf this.

When my nurse practioner came in and took off the dressing, she said, "Oh, My!" Then she squeezed the sides of the incision, and I felt a sharp pain, with a warm rush.

Then she said, "Oh. Dear. Don't move -- I've got to get some gauze -- I'll be right back." When she left, I stole a look at my incision. A small handful of green and brown pus looked back at me.

Oh, gross. That came outta ME!

She came back in and cleaned it, then took out my staples. I gotta tell you, i wiggled and cried like a little girl. I haven't felt like such a wuss in a long time. She wrote me a prescription for Keflex (antibiotic) 4 times a day, and Ultram (reeeaaalll good pain reliever! every 4-6 hours. Ultram's good stuff -- no nausea, no addictive properties, and it well and truly kicks my butt. I've been typing this 'blog entry for almost 3 hours now -- just can't stop the typos. (Incidentally, I've learned to work the Spellcheck today for the 'blog . . . )

She also gave me an appointment for Monday -- NOT Tuesday, first thing Monday. Then she gave me her cell phone number, and the surgeon's as well. Call if it get's worse. "What's worse mean," I asked?

"You're a nurse -- you'll know."

This is the point when prayers would be appreciated -- It's obviously infected, and she's concerned. And I hurt like hell -- like red-hot chicken wire is stretched across my gut.

And I still have to work Friday.

And I just walked the dog 1.2 miles. Just to see if I could.

Gotta go -- the Ultram's kicking in again, and I can't remember where the bedroom is.

~~JD~~

Wednesday Evening, 2.8 Miles

Cacti growing in a rotted-out tree stump -- Only in South Texas, Baby.

Wednesday, April 11th, 2007:

AM Glucose: 116
Weight Loss: 17 pounds
Miles Walked: 2.8 Miles

Samantha and I decided we wanted to take our "Walkies" early while the sun was still shining, so we went out our Central Leg on Wurzbach Parkway -- 1.4 miles each way, with a pretty decent hill to walk up.

Started out slow with every intention of turning around when we got tired, but much to my surprise, we never did get tired enough to turn around. We plodded up the hill with a nice, slow pace, and when we got to the top, we felt pretty darn good, so we turned around and started to give our legs a good stretch with a faster pace.

My stomach didn't hurt. My feet barely hurt -- not nearly what they usually do. And I started to get cramps in the weirdest places -- my kidneys, the arches of my feet, my under-jaw area, my inner thighs. Oddest of all, I didn't have the abdominal ache I usually do after walking.

My theory is that I've been uncon- sciously altering my gait and gener- ally the way I've walked over the years. As the hernia got bigger, I continued to alter my gait more and more until I developed plantar fasciitis, or "heel spurs". When I would walk, I would also partially strangulate my hernia (which means the motion of my walking was cutting off the blood supply on-and-off), giving me the "tummy ache" after walking.

So, the new aches are a "good thing," then.

The views were just incredible, as you can see. The cacti all had new blooms on them from the huge amount of rain this spring, which is nice, also. The whole air smells like perfume according to Ariane.

I just know my brown car is covered in green Mountain Cedar pollen, even worse than Augusta GA used to be this time of year.

God, how I love this place!

~~JD~~

Monday Evening, 1.2 Miles . . . .

I am going out of my gourd with all this "relaxation." I've been posting like a madman her at the 'blog; cleaned the living room, re-arranged the living room, cleaned Julian's room, re-arranged Julian's room, cleaned our bedroom, and run a thousand errands, and finished several long-standing projects (including the family crest thing). I've even read an entire Joke Book and a book on U.S. Presidential History.

So, I think I'm ready to go back to work.

I got cleared by my surgeon today; then I got a flat fixed at Sam's Club (free tire warranty for life -- nice!), then I had lunch with my best buddy Brenda at a nice little Tex-Mex place we know in the Hill Country. Pretty cool day, all things considered.

Walked Samantha last night in a cold drizzle as the Tropical Trade Winds continue to push the Northern High back in the direction of Canada -- which is fine with me, as long as the rain fills up the Edwards Aquifer so we don't have water rationing again this summer.

Off topic -- where was I? Oh -- walked 1.2 miles to the base of the hill with Samantha and back. Felt like a complete dork, too -- in the Army, we used to walk farther than that for chow in the evening. My legs felt like hardwood, and my incision ached afterwards.

But it felt good. Let you know how work is tomorrow.

~~JD~~

The Finished Product

Okay. This is probably the most ambitious Arts-and-Crafts Project I've ever tried to do. First, a little background.

Paul Baukema is a member of a MyFamily.com website dedicated to the genealogy of the Long family, and he's a good researcher on all things Long. About three years ago he found a manuscript by a John Turner Long written in the 1907-1908 time period. His sources of information included Joel Long, James Turner and Moses Jackson Long, Professor Joseph R. Long, Mrs. Margaret E. James, and the Hon. E. V. Long. The manuscript can be found in the Heritage Quest images of the Newberry Library (Chicago, IL) images.

Hey, a Judge in the family tree. Imagine that.



The origin of this "Family Crest" is not clear. It was probably created by John Turner Long for the Manuscript he wrote, although it may have earlier origins -- we may never know.

So I decided to try to recreate it as an Arts-And-Crafts Project, and immediately ran into a few problems. First, there are no colors specified in the black- and- white pen- and- ink drawing. I thought the stars should be white -- like the 1776 flag's stars were. The sword should be silver, of course. Through a little research I discovered that the felt cap is a "Phrygian Cap", and a slave on winning his freedom started wearing a Phyrgian cap as a symbol of his freedom.

Okay then -- red seems to be the traditional color for a Phyrgian cap. . . . what color for the plaque background itself? The Virginia flag is Navy Blue; the state seal is a lighter blue; and while I still like Hunter Green, Navy blue seems to be the predominant background color for colonial flags; but I bow to the will of the people.

The next major problem was one of perspective. It's easy to choose sizes when you're freehand drawing something: less easy when you're working with established materials. The tiny swords are swizzle sticks, so there wasn't much choice in size there. I had a few choices with the stars and tried to pick something that wasn't so tiny it would get lost in the background and be noticeable without dominating the area of the craft.

Once I picked a shield shape that roughly approximated for the stars and the swords, the Phyrgian Cap was the last choice. It's obviously larger than the drawing and that was a conscious choice. Too small and it risks being overlooked (or worse, looking comical); and the "Freedom" thing is the whole reason for the Revolution, right? Worth dying for, even.

I elected to retain the hand-lettering of the Crest in the manner of the original, and made the letters yellow like the Virginia Flag; although I did some slight re-ordering of the words to make it less clunky.

So, those were the choices and why . . . .



And this is what I got.

Not too bad, if I say so myself. I'm pretty happy with it, anyway.

~~JD~~

What It's All About (or, "Happy Easter!")

Or, as Max said this morning, "What's Your Exit Strategy?"

Luke 24: 1-10 -- The Resurrection

Now on the first day of the week, at early dawn, the women went to the tomb, taking the aromatic spices they had prepared. They found that the stone had been rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were perplexed about this, suddenly two men stood beside them in dazzling attire. The women were terribly frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here, but has been raised! Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and on the third day rise again.” Then the women remembered his words, and when they returned from the tomb they told all these things to the eleven and to all the rest. Now it was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the other women with them who told these things to the apostles. But these words seemed like pure nonsense to them, and they did not believe them. But Peter got up and ran to the tomb. He bent down and saw only the strips of linen cloth; then he went home, wondering what had happened.


1st Corinthians 15: 3-9 -- Christ’s Resurrection

For I passed on to you as of first importance what I also received – that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures, and that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day according to the scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. Then he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. Last of all, as though to one born at the wrong time, he appeared to me also. For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.

Got an Exit Strategy? A Plan for when all is said and done? And if that end was today -- would you be ready?

~~JD~~

Sunday Morning Moaning

Tired.

I think it must be the weather of all things. Cold, humid, grey-icky day. But my blood sugar was 86 this morning (which was good); and I haven't had a Vicodin since bedtime last night (and my last before that was 10am yesterday), and the ibuprofen seems to be holding it well. Very little drainage from the incision, and just a little redness around the site. I think that's related to the fact that all the bandages nowadays are "Latex-Free!", and I think I'm allergic to this non-allergenic stuff.

Heh. Nursing Joke. Ouch. Heh-heh. (Ouch!)

Might (maybe) go Walkies this afternoon if I can sneak past Ariane -- she's pretty worried about how tired I've been since the 2.6 miles Friday -- but I think that's more the weather and the damned head cold from Hell that won't go away.

But I don't want to screw this up, either. We'll see.

~~JD~~

Saturday Afternoon, Post-Op Day 5, Zero Miles

What the Hell was I Thinking?

Definitely overdid it with that 2.6 Miles yesterday, and while I feel pretty beat-up about it today, I don't feel awful like I've messed anything up. Today is the first day since the surgery my pain level hasn't gone down, but I'm out to 5-6 hours between pain medicine, and at 1pm I forgot to take my Vicodin -- which means that as of now (8:00pm) I've been off the narcotics 12 hours. That, in itself, is a major step. I may take a Vicodin before bed, but I think I'll try to sleep without one.


No walking today other than potty-walking the dog. It's currently 35 degrees which is not the coldest it's been this year, but it's pretty close. We had a pretty strong hailstorm this afternoon, so everything is covered in ice or slush. (Well, I can't be too upset -- this has to be the last of the winter weather for here until December.)

I'm definitely going to bed early tonight. Walking the doggie now.

~~JD~~

Good Friday Afternoon, 2.6 Miles

I must be out of my flipping mind.


This forced inactivity of just sitting around and recuperating from my surgery is driving me bonkers. I managed to get through the night with just one Vicodin every 5 hours with 2 Ibuprofen backing them up without any problems. After doing my daily web-surfing for news (Vidette-Times, Post-Tribune, Sun-Times, Drudge, and MySA.com), I got bored with the limited programming for Good Friday (Spike TV has a marathon of "World's Wildest Police Videos", FX has a "That 70's Show" Marathon, etc.)

So I started cleaning the Living Room. While I'm not supposed to lift more than 10 pounds, Julian sure can, and he moved the chairs while I vacuumed, re-arranged, and cleaned out the winter's worth of ashes from the fireplace.

Then one of Julian's friends called and they went out for the afternoon. (Texas is 90% Catholic, so Good Friday is a school Holiday here.) So I figured it was time for another walk. At first I thought we'd just take another mile and a half or so. Once we got out there the wind came wafting out of the south from the Gulf of Mexico, the sun was warm on our skin, and the day was so darned beautiful that we just started following our southerly route and ended up at the Mail Boxes Etc we use for our mail. From there it was a simple matter to make a slight detour and take the long way home.

After the first quarter-mile my calves felt like knotted rope, but they stretched out pretty nicely after the first mile. But just about the point of no return I started to feel winded, and it was all uphill from there. We took a nice slow, regular pace the whole way -- substantially slower than usual, but I feel like my butt was well and truly kicked this afternoon. I hadn't walked much the couple of days before the surgery due to a slight sinus infection, so it's . . . . been interesting.

God, I'm tired.

But it's a good tired overall. My pain medication needs are decreasing, and I'm getting bored, which is a good sign. This will be a good chance to get a dozen little projects out of the way that I've been meaning to get out of the way.

Julian and I are going to go look for a new phone for him -- Small Project #1.

~~JD~~

Thursday Afternoon, 1.2 miles

No, really -- I went out and walked 1.2 miles this afternoon.

Samantha and I went out for her usual afternoon "walkie" and just found ourselves on the old familiar pathways; so we walked north 0.6 miles along the main drag until we reached the base of our main hill to climb, then turned around. Low impact, low stress -- slow pace. Considering the longest walk I took yesterday was to the bathroom and backl and the day before to the parking lot, I'm pretty pleased with it. Tomorrow we'll try something more interesting.

Then, just to keep things interesting, I had my annual dental cleaning this afternoon. Getting into and out of the damned chair was a lot of fun, that's for sure! A good report all things considered, but I gotta work on my Wisdom teeth -- as usual. (Well, they're hard to reach!)

I'm down to a single Vicodin every 5-6 hours (from 2 every 3-4 hours right after surgery) with 2-3 Ibuprofen backing up the Vicodin. I want to be off the Vicodin altogether this weekend, if not tomorrow.

~~JD~~

It's Funny the Things You Remember . . .

I've got staples in my belly-button. (Actually, just to the south and east of my navel, to be precise -- this picture is sideways.) I tried to count them, but (a) the picture is too fuzzy, and (b) My head doesn't bend far enough to get a good look at them. So I'm guessing there's about seven hundred staples -- sure feels like it. Oddly enough, I can actually feel inside me the Teflon mesh they used to reinforce my abdominal wall. From time to time when I move I can feel an edge here, a suture there. Interesting and odd sensation. I'm sure I'll learn to ignore it eventually, but now, it's just weird.

The first two days I spent pretty strictly on bed rest. I really want to be back at work next Tuesday, and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. Plus I had a slight sinus infection going into surgery Monday, so I was pretty tired anyway. So for the first day it was take 2 Vicodin and sleep it off.

Yesterday was Day 2, and by noon I knew something was wrong. Usually I sleep without any covers at all (a habit i picked up in Desert Storm), so when I was soaked in sweat and shivering uncontrollably by noon in the South Texas 80 degree heat, that was pretty unusual. Plus I had terrible pains in my shoulders, almost like intestinal gas pains. I kind of wondered to myself what the heck was going on.

Just that fast I could hear a voice in my head (It was my own voice -- don't panic) saying "Of course you're having gas pains, dummy. They use carbon dioxide -- a non-reactive gas -- to inflate and separate the abdomen during surgery so they can see what they're doing! The only way you'll get rid of those pains is to get up and walk it off, ya doofus." Of course, this was something I learned in LVN school 26 years ago -- I just needed to be reminded to start thinking more like a nurse and less like a whiny patient again.

So I got up and took some Ibuprofen (which is much better at cutting a fever than Aspirin or Tylenol) and started padding around the apartment to do some chores -- even walked the dog, and sure enough, about 10 minutes into it, I'm burping up CO2 like John Belushi at a frat party, and the pain is gone by this morning.

Meanwhile in the middle of my padding around i start to cough, which really worries me. I was half-worried my sinus infection was a cold, and didn't want to have that develop into pneumonia . . . .and just that fast here comes that voice again, saying, "And you know that the way to prevent pneumonia in Post-operative patients is to have them cough and deep breathe every hour, right? So Start Coughing, doofus!"

So as of dinner time last night I was gas-free; as of bedtime I was fever-free; and as of this morning I have no sinus, cold, or what-have-you problems.

I learned that stuff 26 years ago at Fort Leonard Wood on Floor 6-B, the Medical/Surgical Floor. It's funny the things you remember.

And All things considered, I feel pretty good!

~~JD~~

Things to Remember for the Next Time I have Surgery . . .

1.) Narcotics, especially opiates, make me nauseous.

Really nauseous.

Really, REALLY nauseous.

(Note to Self; find out how much it will cost to have the car detailed to get the puke smell out of the front seat. Also, try really hard not to puke on your wife.)

2.) Fortunately for me, Ibuprofen (Motrin) actually works better than Vicodin. With Ariane, Motrin puts her out like a light. Go figure.

3.) Always remember to keep a pillow on your lap for two very important reasons:

(A) when you have to cough after surgery, you need it to splint against the surgery site -- and you tend to cough a LOT after surgery, and . . .

(B) When the dog decides to jump into your lap, you'll be able to cushion the dog and avoid the searing pain of dog impacting stiches. And try not to blame the dog; she just missed seeing you.

Ouchies.

4.) Try not to whine like a little girl when you're in pain; it tends to make family members giggle.

5.) Always wear clean underwear into the OR.

Well, THAT was certainly fun . . .

As tempted as I am to post my own obituary here as a late April Fol's Joke, te risk of cardiac incident is just too great in certain members of my family -- so I'll just forgo the infantile attempt at humor.

Oddly enough, in as much pain as I seem to be, I'm still tempted, though.

All went well, except for the odd fact that when I woke up I couldn't remember how to speak English. My French and sign language were fine, but the English was gone for the first 15 minutes -- which Ariane thinks is hilarious.

They've given me some Vicodin, which is helping a great deal, and making me a bit philosophical -- but I'll spare you the verbiage and just say I'm fine, albeit my waistline has shrunk 2.5 inches.

And my twingle-dingle is fine. No catheters for day surgery, apparently -- Praise the Lord.

Going to make nappy now. Oooooo -- pretty butterfly at the window! Oooo -- pretty Vicodin!

~~JD~~

Tuesday Morning, 5am

Clock radio pops on. The Beatle's Twist and Shout is the perfect song to wake up to when you really, really don't wanna get out of bed -- but it brings to mind what i'll be feeling if they forget the anesthesia.

"Woke up, got outta bed -- don't need no comb on my bald head" (with apologies to Paul McCartney).

Got all my meds and paperwork. Ariane is on her second cup of coffee. (She's like the Kinko's commercial guy that says, "Looks like it's gonna be an all-nighter" and chugs the pot of scalding hot coffee -- that is how the love of my life drinks coffee in the morning.) The dog and cats all advise me to watch my nuts while I'm in there -- they all had surgery and when they woke up, their nuts were gone.

Off we go . . . .

~~JD~~

It's On Again, Bay-BEE!

After months of waiting . . . after re-scheduling labs, Doctor's appointments, and re-dancing through the same hoops all over again . . . It's ON.

Report time 6:00 am, Surgery time 7:15 am.

No word on the fate of my twingle-dingle, but I'm especially not looking forward re-shaving my tummy again.

Yeesh.

I don't plan on blogging any immediately afterwards; but we'll see how I feel.

~~JD~~