Stuff Your "Happy Holidays"!

Chicago Sun-Times columnist Richard Roeper offered this Christmas Column from 2003. It bears repeating as the Scrooges come out of the woodwork this season:

Time To Take a Stand Against Christmas-Phobia

December 23, 2003; BY RICHARD ROEPER SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST

Pop quiz! Which of the following holiday stories are for real, and which ones are phonier than Billy Bob Thornton's beard in "Bad Santa"?

1. The town of Mosgiel, New Zealand, has banned the tradition of children sitting on Santa's knee because of concerns about liability should there be allegations of seedy actions. Instead of perching on Santa's knees, children have been sitting on little "elf chairs" situated next to the big guy.

2. On school calendars in Hillsborough County, Fla., the phrase "Christmas break" has been replaced by "Winter Holidays." The word "Christmas" has also been removed from the school calendar in Covington, Ga.

3. At South Orange, N.J., Middle School, sixth-graders were scheduled to go on a field trip to see "A Christmas Carol," but officials canceled and sent the kids to see a play called "The Great Railroad Race" instead. Said the school's principal: "There is a great sensitivity to putting students in awkward positions."

True or False?

4. Red poinsettias were banned from the county courthouse in St. Paul, Minn., lest they be interpreted as symbols of Christmas.

5. A professor at Indiana University's School of Law in Indianapolis complained that an undecorated, 12-foot tree was a symbol of Christianity on public property, and the dean of students said other faculty members and some students agreed that the tree "was too starkly religious." A new display consists of two smaller trees -- one with lights -- and a sleigh filled with red and green poinsettias, but no overt references to Christmas or Jesus. The debate is now centering on whether THAT exhibit crosses the line.

6. In early December, the McHenry County Board voted to rescind a measure that had renamed the official county holidays of Christmas Eve and Good Friday as "Winter Break" and "Spring Break," respectively. But according to the Daily Herald, some board members opposed the change, with one saying: "We had best use Winter Break and Spring Break. It's not only politically correct, it's legally correct," and another saying, "If we're going to [go back to using Christmas Eve and Good Friday], then we should honor Jewish holidays as well."

Of course and unfortunately, every one of those items is true, as this has been one of the most politically correct, super-sensitive Christmas seasons in recent memory. Protests are staged if someone even hints at celebrating Christmas in a public forum, and some folks avoid saying the word "Christmas" in any context if they can go with "Happy Holidays!" or "Wonderful Winter Break to Ya!" or some other inoffensive phrase. God forbid we step on anyone's toes as we celebrate Christmas, and I'm sure I just offended some people by saying "God forbid."

Who am I to be bringing this so-called God into a discussion that's appearing in a newspaper intended for people of all faiths, not to mention atheists, as long as they have 35 cents? Good Lord -- I mean, golly gee -- what the hell (I mean HECK) was I thinking?

It's beginning to look a lot like ... you know, THAT day

In June 1870, President Ulysses S. Grant declared Christmas a federal national holiday. As of this writing, that's still the official designation for Dec. 25 -- but it's only a matter of time before some group campaigns to rename the holiday "Everyday" or "New Year's Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve," or how about Frank Costanza's "Festivus," the holiday for the rest of us?

Or here's an idea: Why don't we continue to call it Christmas, and you can celebrate or not celebrate it any way you see fit, and if you're really so offended by a national holiday tied to the birth of Jesus, why don't you go to work or school on the 25th and wait for someone to open the building?

Nobody should be forced to observe any kind of religious holiday or custom, and I'm all for logical, sensible separation of church and state. But half of the Christmas customs eliciting cries of outrage have nothing to with authentic Christianity anyway. We're talking about customs and decorations that were created for commercial purposes. You can search the New Testament far and wide and I'm fairly certain you won't find any references to Santa Claus and chimneys, a reindeer with a red nose or anyone named Scrooge.

It's also perfectly acceptable for people of all faiths to get into the Christmas spirit -- if they so choose. Regardless of your faith, go ahead and sing "White Christmas," "O Holy Night," "Christmas Song," "Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow," and "Silver Bells." They're appropriate choices, given that all were written by Jews.

Lately I've been saying a generic "Happy Holidays" to friends and acquaintances. Stuff that. As we hit the home stretch of the season, it's all "Merry Christmas," all the time, and if that offends your sensibilities, it's your problem, not mine.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Me, too.

~~JD~~

Friday's Feast!

Appetizer: What is your favorite carnival/amusement park ride?

Ferris Wheel; no question. Merry-Go-Round is a close second. Third would be that thing that spins really fast and drops the bottom out, pinning you to the sides by centrifugal force. My son still remembers vividly the time I took him on THAT one. (Heh.)

Soup: How do you react in uncomfortable social situations?

In the words of Louie Anderson, "Hand me that gun."

Actually, I start watching the other people in that situation. Their body language will tell you a lot about what's going on.

Salad: On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy discussing deep, philosophical topics?

Does anyone enjoy discussing deep, philosophical questions unless you're a philosophy professor and paid to do it? The only deep, philosophical question that really means anything is the state of your salvation with God; everything else is pseudo-intellectual nonsense and wastes time.

Main Course: Did you get a flu shot this year? If not, do you plan to?

The last time I got a flu shot was 1987, and I spent a week in the hospital with pneumonia. They damn near intubated me and put me on the respirator. Since I stopped taking the flu shots, I haven't had the flu.

Dessert: Approximately how many hours per week do you spend watching television?

About 4+, but it's things like News Channels, Weather Channel, Discovery, A&E, or the NASA channel. Plus if there's an old rerun of Star Trek on somewhere, I'm there. I haven't watched network TV regularly since the early 90's.

`~JD~~

A Personal Update

I've been working my ass off. Literally.

One of the nurses at the Dialysis Clinic I part-time at had to go home for a funeral last week, so I worked five 12-hour days last week, including Thanksgiving. This should effectively double my paycheck next week, which is a good thing, of course. In addition, my taking the bus is having a positive effect as well. Besides extending my gas tank refill time from 6 days to 9, I have to walk about 1.3 miles from the bus stop. I've lost five pounds in the last two weeks. Plus my diabetes doctor has added a new medication which has not only stabilized my wild blood sugars, but has contributed to the weight loss, I'm sure.

So that's all good.

Julian is off participating in the San Antonio Model United Nations (MUNSA) this week. He's gone from 8am to 11pm three nights this week. It's got me frankly wondering about the wisdom of educators who would keep kids out until almost midnight; but Julian seems to enjoy it, so what do I know? He's continuing his independent study of the violin and doing well with both Chinese and Japanese in school, which always astonishes me. He's a great kid, but he needs a haircut.

Ariane has taken a sabbatical at work for university Hospital. Some of the latent jealousy that her holding down two full-time jobs and doing school has caused problems with co-workers, and some of them have actually been pretty ugly about it. She's still part-timing at another clinic, and doing well after the surgery scare.

And . . . we're going to put in a bid for a house next week. Three bedrooms, three baths, 1700 square feet, and a garage. Needs only a little bit of fixing, but it's a gorgeous floor plan. I'll let you know if it works out.

~~JD~~

In The Spirit Of The Season

My mother's fruitcake recipe. I swear to God; I first found this recipe from my mother.

Fruit Cake Recipe

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice (to taste)
1/2 pound walnuts
1 bottle whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Who the hell left the mixer on? Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the dried frewt gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey for tonisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or somethin'. Who Cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon! Of sugar, or somethin'. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forgit to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whiskey again and go to bed.

Oooh, I'm gonna be sick.

In Response to my Buddy Raven

Whose note can be foundHERE:



"Since you have chosen to elect a man with a timber toe to succeed me, you may all go to hell and I will go to Texas." -- Davy Crockett

What's Wrong With This Picture?

One of the most aggravating thing about living in South Texas is the incredibly banal attitude exhibited sometimes by it's residents, as well as it's public officials. I've heard this referred to as the "manana mindset" -- sort of a "who cares" attitude that's prevalent among some (but by no means all) hispanics.

From today's San Antonio Express-News:

4 Kids Home Alone During House Fire

Sun Nov 25, 11:16 AM ET

Four kids were home alone when fire ripped through their South Side home Saturday. Firefighters at the scene said it appears the family was using the stove to heat up their home in the 200 block of Pleasanton Street when something went wrong.

Four children between the ages of 9 and 14 were home at the time of the fire, but all of them made it out OK, and for the most part, uninjured. However, a 9-year-old boy was taken to a hospital for observation.

San Antonio District Fire Chief Neal Giles said said the fire could have been prevented. "It always seems like (there's) a trend every year that when it starts cooling off, people (with) open-flame heaters forget about them, put something too close to it or on top of it," he said. "Just be real cautions. We don't want anymore problems. People being burned out of their house right before the holidays."

The fire caused about $20,000 in damage to the house itself and another $5,000 in losses to the contents inside, firefighters said.

Okay, here are my question:

1.) Where were the parents of these kids?

2.) Why wasn't CPS called to take custody of these kids?

3.) Why weren't the parents arrested for endangering their kids like this?

4.) And all the SAFD can say is, "Just be real cautions. We don't want anymore problems."?????

So who had the bigger manana mindset -- the cops, the firefighters, or the parents?

~~JD~~

Happy Thanksgiving

I heard the announcer on the radio refer to today, the day before Thanksgiving, as "Thanksgiving Eve." When did we get to this place, where we've accorded an almost religious significance to an American cultural holiday?

When I was a child in school, we got Thanksgiving and the Friday thereafter off. Today my son gets the entire week off, while my wife gets only the two days off from University of Texas. Obviously it's not a commonplace phenomena; but it's taking hold in some places. And, of course, in my chosen profession of nursing, it's almost an irrelevancy for most health care workers. I'm working tomorrow, but Ariane isn't because it's her regular day off. I'm covering for someone attending a funeral. The motivation for me to work is time-and-a-half pay, which is a very powerful motivator. I've worked probably half of the Thanksgivings my professional career -- and most of the Christmases.

This is not a complaint. I'm actually Thankful for the work, and for having a steady job. The first Thanksgiving was all about being Thankful to God that they'd made it across the ocean and survived the horrific winter of 1620, as well as rickets, scurvy, and god knows what other diseases.

So, what are you Thankful for?

I'm thankful I have two good-paying jobs, and more work than I can handle. I'm thankful I'm continuing to lose weight, and that my diabetes is under control. I'm thankful for a far better wife than I could ever hope to fall in love with, and a son who is even now cooking Thanksgiving Dinner in the kitchen -- in between studying Chinese, Japanese, or violin. I'm thankful for our new kittens, the dog, and for the Grace of God. I'm thankful for the house we're going to bid on next week when the legalities are taken care of. I'm thankful for two working cars in good condition with good mileage.

I'm thankful I live in beautiful south Texas where it's 65 degrees right now and balmy. Every view is scenic; every person is friendly; and there is work out the ying-yang for somebody not afraid to get tired.

And I'm thankful you're reading this. Leave a comment what you're thankful for.

~~JD~~

Vignettes From The Bus

I rode the bus home from work yesterday. I loved it.

In San Antonio we have the VIA Bus System which is reliable, clean, and goes everywhere for a buck. The first transfer is free; the second is 15 cents. I catch the Red Route (which is a touristy little streetcar-looking line for the tourists, mostly) to the Blanco line, which drops me literally at my own doorstep. Forty-five minutes start to finish, and I'm home. On days Ariane and I work together she takes the car home at 2pm for her Nursing classes, and I catch the bus. She always offers to pick me up, but it would cost $5.00 in gas (if not more) to make that round trip to the clinic downtown to get me, and an hour for the round trip.

Why bother? I'm saving her an hour and four dollars in the process. It's sure to get even more economical as gas prices go up.

* * * * * * * *

And while the wheels on the bus go round and round, the people on the bus go up and down the aisles, finding seats, changing seats, entering and exiting the bus. The bus fills up downtown and we ride in an artificial silence; these strangers brought together by the wonders of modern mass transit. There are some regulars who recognize and nod to each other, and one pair of old friends who greet each other warmly. But mostly we run the gamut from elderly retirees to punk-hairdoed teens to Mexican Mafia enforcers to strange schizophrenics living in their own worlds that have briefly decided to visit ours to use the bus.

Many of the strangers eye each other uneasily, afraid to make eye contact. One father with an armful of gang tattoos cradles his little girl to his chest tenderly and shepherds his toddlers onto and off the bus like a mother hen. A waitress in a uniform from a restaurant on the other side of town plunks wearily in the seat in front of me and dozes off, but wakes just in time to make her stop, as if on cue from an unseen alarm clock. A mentally disturbed woman wraps a shawl around her face, Muslim-like, peering at the other passengers with deer eyes. We have secrets she cannot fathom, and they terrify her. She scrutinizes the bus schedules to learn their coded secrets, and takes one of each with her for further study. When she left the bus she walked down the steps half-turned-sideways, watching to see if anyone followed her. No one did.

Last night was a rare treat, as we all were entertained by the militant foul-mouthed lesbian from Amarillo. At first I mistook her for an obese teenaged boy with her short hair, flannel shirt, and khaki pants. She started dialing the cellphone as soon as she sat down, which apparently had a poor connection as she had to shout everything (although from the rock and roll T-shirt she was wearing, it could have just been hearing damage on her part.)

She regaled us with several stories during three separate phone calls while she tried to get companionship for the night. Nothing was her fault, and she didn't have money to pay these people back, and could she borrow $600.00 from another, and she'd have the $200.00 to pay back the third soon. She wasn't the one who had made those charges on another's credit card (she had been in jail in Amarillo at the time), and it wasn't her fault that Joseph got fired for her showing up at his workplace drunk (she had done 20 days for Public Intoxication in San Antonio that time -- so that canceled it out, right?). Somebody had stolen her social security check from her mailbox while she was in jail a third time, so she honestly couldn't be expected to pay the utilities on her apartment,could she? And when she had been evicted last week, they had her checkbook in the apartment, so how could she pay her back rent?

One of her best features was her colorful vocabulary (mostly blue, with interesting shades of the green-eyed monster as well.) Every third sentences was "f***king this" and "f***king that" and "what an a**hole that guy was." She got off the bus dejectedly after being hung up on by the last person she called, unable to borrow any money or find companionship for the night. I almost felt sorry for her, but the man sitting next to me watched her get off the bus, then turned towards me. "How many times did she say she was in jail?

"I counted seven," I told him.

The lady in front of us barely turned her head to the side, glancing sideways at the two of us behind her. "Eight," she said. The man across the aisle nodded his head in agreement.

We all smiled and chuckled. "You make the bed you lie in," concluded my seat mate.

Brought together by a common shared experience, we were no longer strangers. We nodded to each other as we got off the bus, and smiled all the way home.

~~JD~~

Friday's Feast!

Appetizer: What was your first “real” job?

I was a bag boy at Costas Foods in Valparaiso Indiana my senior Year of high School, but I quit as soon as it started snowing. It was just too hard to get the carts in the ice and snow, and I worked until 11pm.

Soup: Where would you go if you wanted to spark your creativity?



There is much wisdom in these videos, grasshopper . . . listen to the refrain for your answer. Disco grooves, baby.

Salad: Complete this sentence: I am embarrassed when…


I am embarrassed when I find myself naked in church when my pants catch fire.
I am embarrassed when there is no blood in my refrigerator and Dracula comes to visit.
I am embarrassed when my cats attack the mailman.
I am embarrassed when I watch "That 70's Show" -- it's so stupid.
I am embarrassed when communist insurgents eat all the peanut butter in the house.

Main Course: What values did your parents instill in you?

Nothing whatsoever. Mostly everything I learned from my parents were negatives so I wouldn't be like them. Don't whine. Don't procrastinate. Don't sleep around. Don't make excuses. Don't be married nine times. True story.

No, honestly, I can't think of a thing.

Dessert: Name 3 fads from your teenage years.

Just three? Gosh. let's see: Bell bottoms, paisley prints, and Arthur Fonzarelli. You get to guess the decade. But just to make it interesting, all of my answers to the previous questions also answer this question in some way.

As Fonzie says, "Make like Charlie Chan and Be a detective. Woah!"

~~JD~~

Peaceful Pastorale or Pathetic Ploy for Pay?

This article kills me. From today's Gary Post-Tribune comes the sad, tearful tale of folks in peaceful, quiet Chesterton Indiana who are afraid their pastoral, peaceful existence will be shattered by the intrusion of an evil Wal-Mart.

Even though they live between two major interstate highways.

Wal-Mart Has New Foes
November 16, 2007; By Jane Huh Post-Tribune staff writer

A group of Chesterton residents began to form a network to derail a commercial development plan that may be anchored by Wal-Mart.

At Thursday's Advisory Plan Commission meeting, engineer Jeff Ban, of DVG Inc., presented a conceptual plan to develop a 50-acre site on the southeast corner of the Indiana Toll Road and Indiana 49. "We're here not to push a project on you but to listen to you," Ban told the members.

I-80 Partners LLC is proposing to develop a 293,700 square feet space into a "retail office campus," that would be pedestrian-oriented, include greenery and quality architecture, said Ban, who said the planning has been going on for the past 10 months.

Ban said discussions are ongoing with Wal-Mart representatives. At this point, however, the developers intend to begin a traffic study, Ban said.

However, residents who showed attended the meeting began to raise concerns. "We've got a city sprawl ... that's what's going on," a man yelled. Town leaders likely will face pressure from residents when it comes to developing that area. Back in April 2006, the Town Council rejected a developer's efforts to create a retail shopping center that would have been anchored by Target and Kohl's. Duneland First, a group of residents and small business owners, had formed to oppose the proposal.

Pat Seguin, 45, moved to County Road 900N less than two months ago from the Chicago suburbs. He said, "I came here to get away from this stuff." Seguin said. "I would not have bought that house if I had known that a Wal-Mart was going to be two blocks from me."

"Did you realistically think that with the Toll Road and with 94 and 49, that this land was not going to be developed?" commission member Frank Sessa later asked the audience.

Indeed. Prime parcels positioned between an isthmus of land bordered by two major interstates -- and they want "peace and quiet." Then why did you move next to the Interstate, idiot?

I think it's more likely they want prime money for their land.

~~JD~~

Saturday Afternoon Hospital

Across the street from where I work; as the South Texas sun highlights Santa Rose Hospital.

~~JD~~

Friday's Feast!

Appetizer: Which snack do you like to get when you go to the movies?

Raisinets. Popcorn is too much carb for my diabetes, but I love it anyway -- maybe once a year.

Soup: What year did you start using the internet?

1997, as the bookmark for my Drudge Report will proudly attest.

Salad: What is your first name in Pig Latin? (Here’s how to speak it if you don’t already know!)

And "How" would I pronounce my name online -- in a "written method" ???

My name is French is Jean -- in German is Johan -- in Hebrew is Yohannon.

Main Course: Name something you are picky about.

HAH! Just one thing? Fergeddaboudit -- I'm picky about everything.

Dessert: Fill in the blanks: I ____ ____ yesterday and I ____ ____ today.

I danced for my patients yesterday and I fell down today.
I rented an apartment yesterday and I tried to buy a house today.
I worked like a dog 16 hours yesterday and I am doing it again today.
I organized my workspace yesterday and I am bored to tears today.
I slept like a log yesterday and I need more sleep today.

~~JD~~

Friday's Feast!

Appetizer: How much money do you plan to spend this upcoming holiday season?

About $400.00. I'm almost done with my holiday shopping, though.

Soup: What was the last television show you watched, and was it good?

That's easy -- I watch so little TV, it has to be good or I don't watch it. We're buying a house, so I watch Flip This House on A&E all the time. Plus I watch the NASA TV Channel all the time. I just watched a show on Discovery about going to mars; and Finding Nemo is on right now. not a stinker in the bunch.

Salad: If you had to paint the walls of your living room tomorrow, what color would you choose?

If we get this house, I will have to paint the walls of my living room tomorrow. We're thinking about a soft beige or khaki -- maybe a robin's egge blue, depending on the furniture.

Main Course: Name something clever or practical you have thought of that should be invented, but hasn’t yet.

Actually, I've already blogged about this HERE about four months ago. Why in the world Wal-Mart doesn't sell E-85 gasoline/alcohol mix and then also sell conversions to use the fuel in their auto sections is beyond me. They'd have a ready-made customer base and be able to say they're saving their customers money while decreasing oil usage 85%.

Shame they don't do it.

Dessert: List 3 things you would like to receive as gifts this upcoming holiday season.

Soloflex.

Stationary biciycle.

Motorcycle. Not too big; a 500 cc or so would be fine.

~~JD~~

Time Out

I'm having a very difficult time lately, as I've blogged about before. To say it's been a bad year would be a massive understatement. Plus I'm working 8-1/2 to 14 hour days six days a week.

So I took a few days off to re-think things -- toalk to some people, re-imagine how things should be; what I want to do; what goals I should be aiming for . . . that sort of thing. Get pro-active instead of reactive.

So, I'm back, and it may be a while before I get fully back up to speed, but I'll post what I can when I can. I appreciate your patience.

~~JD~~