Things to Remember for the Next Time I have Surgery . . .

1.) Narcotics, especially opiates, make me nauseous.

Really nauseous.

Really, REALLY nauseous.

(Note to Self; find out how much it will cost to have the car detailed to get the puke smell out of the front seat. Also, try really hard not to puke on your wife.)

2.) Fortunately for me, Ibuprofen (Motrin) actually works better than Vicodin. With Ariane, Motrin puts her out like a light. Go figure.

3.) Always remember to keep a pillow on your lap for two very important reasons:

(A) when you have to cough after surgery, you need it to splint against the surgery site -- and you tend to cough a LOT after surgery, and . . .

(B) When the dog decides to jump into your lap, you'll be able to cushion the dog and avoid the searing pain of dog impacting stiches. And try not to blame the dog; she just missed seeing you.

Ouchies.

4.) Try not to whine like a little girl when you're in pain; it tends to make family members giggle.

5.) Always wear clean underwear into the OR.