The Best Laid Plans . . . .

It's funny how these things go. Once upon a time I had this plan to publish a 'blog every week. It would be a 'blog of "something substantial," he said, (sounding just a bit like Pooh Bear when he said it.)

(Well, that's what I get for reading Winnie the Pooh before blogging, I guess.)

But it's funny how life gets in the way. I'm trying to recall who said, "Life is what happens when you're making plans for your life," or something close to that. John Lennon?

So my life has conspired to get in the way of my carefully considered 'blogging schedule. Too bad for me.

I darn near got registered to start the RN program at San Antonio College last week, but a glitch in their onliine registration process dumped my registration (and 2,500 other students' as well.) So by the time I found out what had happened, all but one of my courses had closed.

Darn close, though. I'm looking into a more flexible program at another college that I could take over the summer. I could've gotten this done in a year at San Antonio College -- maybe less at St. Phillip's.

In the meantime, the job at the Center for Healthcare services is humming along nicely. Some of the usual clique-ish stuff, but as usual I'm very job-oriented and Customer-centered, so they can pretty much say what they want, as long as I produce results.

And, of course, as much as I'd LOVE to tell you what the results are, I can't do it due to "Privacy Concerns."

Meanwhile, the every-ten-years "Rebuilding of my Mouth" has restarted with a vengeanced. Since we moved to San Antonio (and it's much-lesser fluridation of the water) my teeth have suffered greatly. Northwest Indiana had maximum fluoridation of water, along with significant naturally-ocurring amounts of fluoride in the groundwater. South Texas is a recent convert to water fluoridation, so the fluoride in the water is minimal.

And brother, my teeth can tell. I've broken three teeth since we moved her, and loste a few fillings to boot. So yesterday I had an all-morning procedure to clean and polish my teeth. None of this 30-minute tooth cleaning I'd grown up with; no sir! This requirede full mouth anesthetic (They even offered me sedation, but I just couldn't see that.) Next week is the relacement of the broken teeth, which should be fun.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I had a LOT of dental work done when I was here in 1983-1984 for Nursing school, too. Hmmm . . . .


An aside here; ever notice holw many of John Wayne's movies are made in Texas? I'm watching "The Sons of Katie Elder" this morning on AMC (they're always good for Saturday Morning Westerns), and every 15 minutes or so a Texas reference pops out. Big John just loved this state -- no mistaking it.


Meanwhile, the lovely and gracious Ariane is humming along in her second semester of Nursing school at UTSA. She got 2 "B"'s and and "A" in her Biology, Micro, and Freshman Comp class last semester, and really looking forward to this semester. She's taking more hours -- that's all I know. (She likes to keep me in the dark.)

Julian is out with friends this morning, doing some Math project for school. Apparently he's inherited his gradfather's head for numbers, but his mom and dad's sense of ethics -- so he should go far. He seems to be a very popular guy. He knows every girl in his Middle School, and they all know him.

Popular Kid -- and so much smarter than his Dad, apparently.

I don't know why Miracles surprise me anymore . . .

For the past week we've been waiting for word about Ariane's family in Mauritius. (Mauritius was right in the path of last week's tsunami in the Indian Ocean.) Yesterday we found a website Published in Mauritius(http://www.tropicscope.com/eventreadmore.asp?ID=2142) that says this:

"The tsunami caused by the major earthquake in Asia has not caused any casualties or damages to Mauritius. Although the wave crossed the whole Indian Ocean on Sunday the 26th of December, from the Far East to the coasts of Africa, the people of Mauritius have hardly noticed anything on this Sunday. . . Although the sea level went up and down in an extreme manner creating strong currents in some places, the coral barriers around the island of Mauritius protected the island form drastic rises in sea level. The phenomenon lasted about one hour and has not caused any damage anywhere and no deaths or casualties have been reported."

By the way, Diego Garcia is fine too. Same Coral reefs.

Considering the inundation of the Maldives to the North (76 confirmed deaths) and the incredible death toll in Sri Lanka to the south (8,942 confirmed dead at this writing) this is truly a miracle from God!

I'm sure these small miracles won't be reported in a press wallowing in the sorrow and horror of the tsunami. But they are truly miraculous. I don't know why I'm surprised, really. Yet the Israelites, even after witnessing the miracles in Egypt, the parting of the Red Sea, and the pillar of fire that lead them across thedesert in Sinai, still doubted the power of God enough to build the Golden Calf. ( Exodus 32:1 -- "When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, 'Come, make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don't know what has happened to him.'"

Humans. We're some funny people that way.

I meant to post this weekend; Really I did . . . .

. . . but several things conspired against me. First, Time-Warner Cable came in and gave us a new converter box Friday; which promptly lost us our Internet service until I spoent half of Friday fixing it.

Then I got up early this morning to post a bit late, and saw the news on the earthquake in Sumatra. The 9-point-Zero earthquake in Sumatra. The earthquake that moved the entire island of Sumatra 100 yards to the southeast.

The earthquake that sent a wall of water careening around the Indian Ocean as high as 143 feet, killing as many as 12,000 people so far. Twelve-Thousand-Human-Beings.

Now, you might wonder why I'm so freaked out about this tsunami halfway around the world. Two reasons: (1) The Marine base at Diego Garcia is right in the middle of the Indian Ocea, and only three feet above sea level (So I'm worried for any friends I might have out there), and . . . .

(2) the Island of Mauritius is not far from Diego Garcia. That's my wife's (Ariane's) birthplace. Got a lotta family there that I've met and like personally.

And we haven't heard a peep out of either island since the tsunami.

The Air Force is calling it "technical difficulties."

Pray hard, everyone. I certainly am.

~~~John~~~

Ho Ho Ho, Y'all!

I think I'm Sick this Week . . .

. . . . and I mean that -- truly.

I'm sick . . . of all the negative attitudes about Christmas.

I'm sick of people carping about how tired they are. I'm sick of hearing how "commercial" or "mercenary" Christmas has become. I'm sick of hearing people whine about "I'm not ready" for Christmas. I'm full-up-to-here of people telling me "It just doesn't feel like Christmas."

Well, put on some Christmas Music already. Sheesh! See previous post already! (and this weekends coming post, I might add.)

And those of you living in Northwest Indiana and the Greater Chicagoland area, I got your back on that one. Volume 2 of "JD's Favorite Christmas Songs" was mailed yesterday after unavoidable delays -- but's it's on the way now. First part of next week, you betcha.

Meanwhile, turn on that local station playing nothing but Christmas Music, and (as Bugs Bunny would say) "Unlax."

Last Minute Note: If you REALLY want to let the years roll off you fast, find the new (for this year) Christmas Album "Rat Pack Christmas" -- I found my copy at Target last night. Sammy Davis Junior does a cover of "Jingle Bells" that cannot be explained with words; and there's two songs from the old Dean Marting Christmas Shows, including my favorite -- a duet by Frank Sinatra and Dean of "It's a Marshmallow World" that just is too much fun for words.

Go. Buy! Unlax already!

HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS, HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS; RIGHT DOWN SANTA CLAUS LANE!

We do Christmas BIG around Casa Largo. We consider Thanksgiving a dress rehearsal for the pre-Noel antics that will permeate the atmosphere from Turkey Day to January 6th. We celebrate Thanksgiving; Saint Nicholas Day, Christmas Week, Christmas Eve, The Day itself, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, and right out to Three King’s Day, too. (Also known as Eastern Orthodox Christmas; and hereabouts in Texas as “Three Kings Day� as well) It’s very much a “frame of mind� thing. You celebrate Christmas, like any other holiday, just as much as you feel like it; and we love it here. All you Scrooges, avoid replying. You’re not changing my mind, babe.

I personally have one of the largest collections of Christmas music in captivity. Some of my favorites have to include:

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Jingle Bell Rock: Randy Travis (Country)
Probably the best version of this song ever done. From one of the “Very Special Christmas� albums to benefit Special Olympics. If you can’t rock to this, you’re dead, baby.

Hardrock, Coco, and Joe: Stormy Weather (TV Classic)
A TV favorite from growing up on Chicago TV. Covered by the group “Stormy Weather� from Gary IN recently.

O Tannenbaum: The Vince Guaraldi Trio (TV)
If you don’t think of Charlie Brown while listening to this, you were raised in a cave. From the soundtrack to the Charlie Brown Christmas special.

White Christmas: Bing Crosby (Christmas Classic)
Just too classic to pass up. From one of the Time-Life Christmas collections you see advertised on TV late at night, which are absolutely essential to any serious Christmas music collection.

Run, Run Rudolph: Chuck Berry (Rock-n-Roll)
Rock On, Chuck. What a masterpiece. The topical 50's references to “Sabre jets� and “Shooting Stars (F-84's and F-86 jets of the early 1950's, respectively) are a great historical reference. Plus you can really hear in the music just how much FUN he’s having with it.

Los Peces en el Rio: Mannheim Steamroller (A Neo-classic)
From one of the magnificent Mannheim Steamroller Albums; an eclectic mixture of techno-pop punk and classical harmonies. It’s a Mexican song about the fish in the river singing at Christ’s birth.

Here Comes Santa Claus: Elvis Presley (Rock-n-Roll)
One of the King’s better efforts; he’s having ‘way too much fun with this song, and it shows.

We Three Kings of Orient Are: Miles Davis, Larry Carlton, David Sanborn, & Paul Shaffer (Jazz)
From the Bill Murray vehicle “Scrooged� that also starred Karen Allen, Buster Poindexter, and Bobcat Goldwaith of about 15 years ago, this one is a riot. A damn good jam, this song is only heard in passing on the movie soundtrack as Murray’s character is seen passing the starving musicians he’s fired in one scene. And, yes, it’s the Paul Schaffer from David Letterman!

Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree: Brenda Lee (Rock-n-Roll)
Getting ‘way too much airplay lately from all the “Home Alone� movies, but a goodie, nevertheless.

Feliz Navidad: Jose Feliciano (A Neo-Classic)
Sentimental value from the 60's. So sue me. I even know what all the words mean, too.

Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town: Bruce Springsteen (Rock-n-Roll)
Greatest-Christmas-Song-Ever!: The Bruce Springsteen version from the early ‘80's which has only recently been re-released.

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer: Elmo & Patsy (A “Weirdo� Classic)
And now, for something completely hillbilly . . . (to break up the somber mood, mostly.)

Jingle Bells: Glenn Miller & the Modernaires (Jazzy Big-Band Classic)
Recorded at the BBC studios by Glenn Miller’s Army Air Corps band; with a weird little “Mexican segue� by his drummer, Ernie Caseas. If you love swing, this is the thing. Thank God for CD’s, or this would’ve faded into obscurity.

Veni Veni (O Come O Come Immanuel): Mannheim Steamroller (A Neo-Classic)
A magnificent take of the original Gregorian chant with some electro-pop simple cover melodies. Makes me cry if I’m alone at night.

Christmas In Dixie: Alabama (Country)
Another favorite in recent years that got almost played to death about 10 years ago; but now is a sentimental favorite.

Holly Jolly Christmas: Burl Ives (A TV Calssic)
From the old “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer� TV special of 30 years ago. I can see that darned singing snowman now . . . . looked just like Burl Ives, too!

The Christmas Song:The Chipmunks (A “Weirdo� Classic)
Another good one from the year I was born (1958) to make your mom ask, “Where did you get THIS?� Lately it’s becoming more accepted as a “Classic� Christmas song. Julian’s Christmas Band concert played this last week.

Merry Christmas Baby: Bonnie Raitt and Charles Brown (A Neo-Classic)
Another monster from one of the “Very Special Christmas� albums; just an original blues song that’ll make your eyeteeth hurt listening to it. Probably on my Top Five favorites of all time.

The Little Drummer Boy: Harry Simeone Chorale (Classic)
You’ll know this one the minute the bass chorus kicks in with the “Rum-Pa-Pum-Pums.� My Nana (grandma) used to play this to death at Christmas, and it’s hard not to imagine her living room without this song.)

Sleigh Ride: Arthur Fiedler & the Boston Pops (A TV Classic)
Another classic you’ll recognize three bars into the song. You hear it a lot on commercials as background music; but I always heard it on Captain Kangaroo’s old TV show on CBS this time of year.

The Christmas Song: Nat King Cole (Calssic)
This one, too. Nat’s where it’s at, baby. His daughter Natalie never did this justice, but Nat sure does.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Temptations (Rock-n-Roll)
May very well be the best Motown Christmas song ever produced. You keep expecting this to be hokey, but they do such a DARN good job with it, it works, and makes you all teary-eyed. And hard not to “chair-dance� along with it.

Jingle Bells: The Singing Dogs (A “Weirdo� Classic)
And this will cure the teary eyes right damn quick, you betcha. Nice to have this one just so you can say “Yeah, I’ve heard that.� The recent attempt by “the singing Cats� to duplicate this doesn’t even come close. This one was made in the days BEFORE sampling – so each of these notes had to be laboriously recorded, taped, re-taped, and spliced into place. What bizarre devotion!

Silent Night: Boyz 2 Men (Rock-n-Roll)
An acapella four-part harmony version that’ll raise the hair on your neck, for sure. Puts tears in my eyes with those soulful rhythms.

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Every year I make new copies of "Favorite Christmas Songs" that I play until the CD wears out. This list was my "Original List," which I gave as Christmas presents last year on CD.

Next Week: This Year's List!

Arts-ing and Crafts-ing for Fun, Profit, and Influencing People

Ariane is convinced I'm going through a mid-life crisis lately. It's not a really big or nasty change of life for me. I'm not fooling around on her; I don't want a hair plug transplant, or a sports car; or even a motorcycle. (Well, I'd like the motorcycle, but that's a long-standing request.) My problem is . . . . I've taken up Arts & Crafts.

No, Really!!!

I've discovered this little artsy-craftsy nook in my soul that yearns to make cute little things for people. Why now, I dunno; it just **IS**, for lack of a better explanation. Above is one of my earliest attempts at making nameplates for everyone in my office (a hobby my supervisor is both thrilled with and highly encourages) is shown above. She requested Pink as her primary color with green trim; and it turned out fairly well, if I do say so myself. (I just wished Tanisha had a shorter last name!)

Sharon's was a nameplate I really didn't expect to turn out that well. She specified red as the background with yellow trim, with "bluebonnets" as the flower (a spring flower native to Texas -- gorgeous things.) It surprised me how well it turned out, though, and Sharon appears to like it a lot. So I shouldn’t gripe, I s’pose.

Molly's nameplate was a pure joy to work on. I liked the color scheme; the flower choice (roses), and got to explore the paper cut-outs aisle to find a white dove for her. Turned out pretty well, I think.

Melissa's name plate is another example of her choice of colors (I'd have never thought of Maroon as a color choice!). I used the mini alphabet blocks because she just got back from maternity leave. She requested a theme of Hearts, which goes well with her title of "Residential Support" also.

This one I did this weekend also. I had to improvise the decorations; but fortunately, "Hobby Lobby" has an entire aisle of dollhouse decorations & furnishings; so the tiny calculator and money worked well for our gal in reimbursements. I later added a fairy to it, since Jana requested a fairy. I ended up making one from a wooden soldier, some creative painting, and 2 butterfly wings. Apparently Fairies are seasonal – who knew?

And finally, this is my latest masterpiece; an example of what I'm sending in my Christmas gift boxes this year. Pretty snappy if I do say so myself; I've already had two offers to buy the one on my desk at work, so I imagine this coming weekend I'll be haunting the aisles of "Hobby Lobby" once again, and driving Ariane crazy.

And frankly, I think she’s just pulling my chain. Some guys get Sports Cars in their mid-forties; or fly off to Cancun. This is turning out to be a pretty affordable (and productive) mid-life crisis, if I do say so myself.

Heh-heh.

It's Thanksgiving Already?!?

Wow. Time Flies, eh?

I suppose the cliched and sentimental thing would be for me to count my blessings on Thanksgiving Day. So, pardon me if I do just that; It's hard for me *not* to become sentimental and a bit maudlin when I think about Thanksgiving Day at my Nana's (grandma's) house. From my earliest memories I can remember the extended family convening at Nana's in the late morning/early afternoon. My uncle Gerts would lead us outside to rake the leaves and sometimes to play a little football, or catch with our baseball gloves, depending on the mood. We'd rake the small ton of orange-yellow leaves down the embankment out front for pickup by the city and quickly inundate all parking spots out front. (One year we almost buried my Uncle Howard's car!)

Then we'd have dinner, with the 9 cousins (and later all the spouses as well), Nana, Great-grandparents Albright and Foster ("Grandma Florencey" to most of us), Great-Aunt Hattie, Uncle Howard (Nana's brother), and Shurrs, Gertsmeiers, and Longs all assembled. We'd have card tables for the kids, and a huge dining room table with two insert leaves for all the adults.

And the food! Uncle Gerts always carved the turkey with an electric knife into a mounded platter of steaming hot bird; plus dressing, oyster casserole, scalloped corn, green bean casserole, cranberry dressing, Nana's incomparable melt-in-your-mouth buttered rolls; and pie, pie, pie! Apple, Pumpkin, Pecan -- I can't associate any other holiday (with the possible exception of Christmas; which was a carbon-copy of Thanksgiving) with so much good food.

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So, what am I Thankful for?

First, I'd have to be thankful for my new job, which is just an absolute blast. (And the primary reason for my lack of posts this month.) It's certainly a place where there's a lot of work to be done; but working with Mentally Retarded folks gives you instant feedback and immediate satisfaction that you've done something useful. The previous holders of my position have pretty much been **a lot** slower in their work pace than I am, so I'm very much appreciated for my efforts there. (And when the Boss tells you "your energy is very much appreciated!," you know you're doing good work.)

And isn't that all we really want out of life eventually? To have been told we were good workers? (Matthew 25:21)


Second, I have to be Thankful for my Family. My wife and son have been so supportive since we moved down her (and even before, with the business bankruptcy) when everything looked incredibly bleak; yet they stood beside me and loved me unconditionally. Plus the family members who have written, e-mailed, called, and just let me know they miss us and love us through it all.


Thirdly, I’m going to be Thankful for the men and women of the Armed Forces, who hold a near-and-dear place in my heart for obvious reasons (being a Desert Storm veteran myself, for those casual web-surfers who’ve just dropped in here). I really, truly think that someday this “War on Terrorism” we’re fighting now will be looked back on by the world as the defining moment of the evolution of American from Colonial rebels to World Power to Light of the world. It’s history in the making, and these guys and girls are making it right here, right now.

And donÂ’t forget to send money to the USO for Christmas. You make a difference, too.


Finally IÂ’m going to be thankful for, of all things, the Internet. Just to the folks fighting overseas the Internet has made such a fantastic difference in being able to contact their loved ones here. I was lucky to get phone calls twice a week for ten minutes; these guys get videoconferencing for a half-hour! Plus they can web-surf their hometown newspaper for the latest news almost every day as well.

For me, it means I can post this happy little blog and keep in touch with people I havenÂ’t seen in years, but still think of often. How cool is that?

Hi-Dee-Ho, Sports Fans! It's been a busy two weeks (three?), and I completely lost track of how long it's been since I posted. Since then, however: (1) I got promoted at work, (2) Ariane bought a new computer, (3) Julian has been appointed Ambassador to Mexico (Okay, not really) and (4) It's started raining like HELL down here. So there's a post in the near future; just give me a few days. Thanks for the patience!

John Chapter 6 – Jesus: The Bread of Life

I want to talk a little bit about the book of John for a minute. John is one of my favorite books (being my namesake and all). John is from the Hebrew, meaning: “The Lord is gracious; gift of God.� John is self-acknowledge as on of Jesus’ favorite disciples; and considering he died of old age at about 105 years old after several attempts to kill him (including having him boiled in oil), I tend to believe that. One of my favorite DVD’s is last years’ “The Gospel of John�, which is available online at www.gospelofjohnthefilm.com for $44.95 (DVD or VHS). It's a great flick; taken word-for-word from the text, and beautifully acted. You won't be disappointed.

We’ve been studying this in church the last few month, and last week we were talking about John 6, which includes both the Feeding of the 5000 as well as the “Walking On Water� passage (which was, apparently, Jesus making a hasty getaway from a hungry mob!) I think this is one of the most significant passages relating to Jesus, because it encompasses so specifically just who He was. Everything He talks about here is so clear to us now, 2,000 years later. Yet the people of 33 AD must have thought he’d lost his mind.

First, Jesus crossed to the far side of the Sea of Galilee, followed by a crowd who essentially was there fro the free show (v.2: “. . . the people followed him because they saw the miraculous signs he had performed.�) So they get to the end of the day and here’s 5,000 men (that’s not including the women and children), and they’re all hungry. So Peter finds a little boy willing to give Jesus his 5 barley loaves and 2 small fish, which Jesus uses to feed the multitude.

And what’s the crowd’s response? Verse 15 say that “Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.� These goofy miracle-hounds wanted a king; and if he wasn’t willing to serve, they’d make him King – by Force!

No – that doesn’t sound *at-all* like our Instant, No-Patience, Microwave Society today, does it?

So Jesus takes off for the mountains, whilst the apostles grab peter’s boat and hightail it back for Capernaum. So as the apostles are struggling across the Sea of Galilee in the middle of the night in the worst nor’easter storm any of them has ever seen, who do they see coming towards them in the heart of the storm?

You got it, little buckaroo – it was Jesus. Verse 19 states, in one of the great understatements of the entire New Testament, that “they were terrified.� Boy, No kidding. I think I’d have had an episode of urinary incontinence myself if I’d seen a man walk out of the storm over the water – y’know?

But it’s verses 25 – 59 that really cut to the heart of this story. The people catch up to Jesus in Capernaum and begin badgering him with questions. Jesus tells them to believe in Him, and of course they keep trying to parse his responses down to get a short, simple answer that’s easy for them. They want still yet another miracle from Jesus; as if feeding 5,000 of them wasn’t enough! They want another miracle, and they cite Moses’ bringing manna from heaven as a reason.

Then Jesus does something completely unexpected: he tells them, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.�(v.35) This little discourse causes the people to grumble and many of them turn away from Jesus. (v.41)

This was Jesus’ way of sifting out the grain from the chaff (to borrow another biblical referent.) He knows (and says so) that the “miracle-watchers� are just there for the show, not the message. Plus he compares himself to the manna Moses brought from heaven; something the Jews considered so sacred they had kept a jar of the manna in their holy of holies as a memorial to it. (Exodus 16:32). Yet He also knew that those who had really, seriously studied their Torah would know that Deuteronomy 8:3 said God was “ . . . feeding you with manna . . . to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.�

In other words, pay attention to ME; not to the miracles.

In retrospect, Jesus was just weeks away from the Last Supper where he said "’This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me’. In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.’� (Luke 22:19-20) Jesus again references being The Bread of Life for them, which had a great deal more meaning after His resurrection. His sacrifice as the redemption of our own sins is re-created in our remembrance of the Last Supper.

Which harks right back to John 6, doesn’t it? Funny how that all works out.

Julian Long; 8th grader at large. Plays Violin very well, indeed! Hard to believe the little ratfink is 14, isn't it?

My New Job. Again.

A friend of mine (Mike Sawin, whose Blog can be found at http://michaelsawin.tripod.com/sawinstuff/id4.html), was lamenting earlier this week about losing his job earlier this year and how awful that feeling was. I was going to send him a cheery little message to “Buck Up, Little Camper!� and Be Of Good Cheer, when I realized I’ve been through three jobs already this year myself.

Hmmph!

This, of course, begs the question of whether (a) I’m just so incredibly annoying I can’t hold a job for long, (b) I have such a low tolerance for B.S. that it makes my holding a job for long problematic, or (c) something other. And, after a great deal of soul-searching on my part, I’ve come to honestly believe (no, really!) It’s a combination of both (b) and (c).

(B) I can work on – but (c) is a problem area.

Looking back on it, the longest times I’ve held jobs were in the Army (15 years) and the limousine business (almost 5 years). The problems seem to come into play when I’m in the Nursing field; specifically, the civilian side of the Nursing Field; which brings to mind a funny story.

I was applying for a job in Indiana one time about, say, spring of 1993 or 1994. I was waiting for my 10am appointment with the Director of Nursing at the place, and as I sat there, the UPS lady came in with a package and her clipboard. The receptionist calls into the D.O.N.’s office: “Your 10 AM approintment is here; and UPS just arrived.�

Two seconds later the (female) D.O.N. whooshes out of her office, handing me the UPS package, saying “That needs to be there tomorrow.� She then grabs the UPS lady by the arm and runs her into the office for the interview.�

MY interview.

Now, mind you, I’m in a shirt, tie, and professional attire for the interview. The UPS lady was wearing those brown Dickies shorts and top they always wear. Nevertheless, she was taken in for the interview, and I got the package. Why?

Because I’m the Male, and she was the Female; and it’s a Nursing Job. (The sad part of this is that this D.O.N. interviewed this lady for almost ***three minutes*** while I cooled my heels outside; then when she realized her mistake, she came back out and spent almost a half-hour convincing me I wouldn’t like it at her facility, and that I should be a “Home Health Nurse.� (Frankly, the last place I wanted to be; but she just wanted to avoid a sexual discrimination lawsuit, I’m sure. Not that I’d sue, but I’m sure she was worried.)

Were this my only story it’d almost be funny, but it’s not. I have literally hundreds of stories of being addressed as “Doctor� in hospitals and clinics by both patients **and** staff; and other, lesser incidents as well. One place I worked recently had a softball team that literally Everyone played on except me (whether they wanted to or not); It was an all-female league, and they didn’t want to move to the co-ed leagues just for me. (That was my Second job this year.)

So, anyway, I have this new job. I’m working for an governmental agency that works with mental health clients (which they call “consumers� here in Texas). I’m one of three nurses that oversee the MR (Mental Retardation) consumers for San Antonio. It’s a lot of driving, but I get mileage, so that’s good for me! Plus I love to drive, as my stint with the limousine business showed quite well. We do very little actual “hands-on� care, but a lot of home visits, sitting and talking with the clients, Nursing Health Assessments, and tons of government paperwork.

Fortunately, my Army Training in “Mountains of Paperwork� works well for me here, as do my Obsessive-Compulsive traits and computer skills. I’ve also made a little “shingle� (as my supervisor laughingly calls it) that marks our office as the “Nursing� office, which everyone in the little building adores. In fact, I had to make on for my Supervisor; she liked ours that much. (Artsy-Crafty stuff is my method of releasing stress after a challenging day.)

So, basically, I get to drive all over town; hug all my consumers, work on the computer the rest of the day, and show off my Artsy-Crafty Skills. This is literally my Dream Job of a lifetime.

So, anyway, I said all that to say this: I was visiting one of my consumers for the first time, and here he comes walking over to where I was sitting. Little old man in his 70's with little funny round ears, thick glasses, pork-pie hat, receding chin (with matching receding hairline), deep-sunken eyes, and double hearing aids.

God help me – but it was my Uncle Howard!

My consumer had a diagnosis of “Fragile X Syndrome,� which is a malformation of the 23rd (male) chromosome. Men with this diagnosis tend to look like my Uncle Howard – almost exactly – and to share certain traits, like slowness of mind, regularity of habits, and practicing “hoarding� or saving things in their pockets or apartments.

Just like my Uncle Howard. So it appears my cousin Nancy was right after all; perhaps moreso than we ever expected.

Man, I **LOVE** this job!

Oriane Sheik-hossen (niece), Ariane Long, & David Sheik-Hossen (nephew) with 2 outraged cats; during our desperate attempt to "Americanize" them (the kids, not the cats); July 2002

Sarah the squirrel (the tame squirrel who lives on our porch) attempting to sneak up on the cat; August 2004.