Movie Review: Pan's Labyrinth

Julian and I made one of our infrequent trips to the movie theatre again yesterday. Julain wanted to see a movie called Pan's Labyrinth, and since I knew it was by Guillermo del Toro (the director of Hellboy, I said Okay and off we went. The official movie description goes like this:

Set against the bloody backdrop of the Spanish civil war, 10-year-old Ofelia is sent to an isolated mansion with her heavily pregnant mother. Lonely and intimidated by her new stepfather, Ofelia discovers an overgrown labyrinth where she meets Pan, an ancient satyr. Fascinated by fairy tales, Ofelia is captivated by Pan and his stories of the fairy world. However, when her mother falls ill, Ofelia makes a pact with Pan in order to save her. In exchange, Ofelia must undertake three challenges to prove her worth. These challenges take her on a journey to another world.

The first surprise is that the movie is done completely in Spanish -- we had no idea of this when we entered the theatre. Fortunately, it's subtitled well into English, and having lived the last 18 years with a French wife who loves subtitled movies, I've learned to make-do with subtitles. But if you've never seen a sub-titled movie, this is the one to start this. The story line is so compelling you forget the sub-titles even exist fairly quicly. In fact, when I wrote the first draft of this review I had to be reminded of this by Julian -- I'd completely forgotten. The movie is alternately an ultra-realistic documentary of the brutality of the Spanish Civil War, as well as a beguiling fantasy on the level of The Lord of the Rings. (Well,okay -- I don't know if anything is quite on the level of LOTR; but it's realism and seamless imagery are certainly at that level.)

Ofelia is a young pre-pubescent girl who finds herself in the difficult position of having a new stepfather. The fact that the new stepfather is the captain of one of Franco's fascist brigades stationed far from the city where she grew up doesn't help matters; nor does the fact that he's a brutal, sadistic oppressor of the nationalist forces. There's a very brutal scene at the beginning of the movie where he shoots and bludgeons to death some rabbit hunters who happened to trespass into his area that very aptly demostrates this, but it's essential to showing just what an amoral bastard he truly is. While exploring this new "home" she discovers an ancient stone labyrinth behind the outpost where she meets Pan, an Faun who guards the labyrinth, awaiting the return of a lost princess.

Well, surprise -- Ofelia is the princess.

In order to be able to return to the kingdom of her father, she has to complete three tasks, including outwitting the monster pictured to the left, who has to be one of the creepiest things I've ever seen in a movie. Unfortunately, being a pre- teenage girl, she disobeys the instructions with tragic reults and loses her kingdom. At this point I almost despaired for Ofelia, seeing her condemned to live this tragic life with her cruel stepfather and dying mother. Yet Pan relents and gives her one more chance.

I won't reveal the ending, except to say that the Partisans attack; blood is drawn on both sides; the Captain is predictably cruel, and Ofelia gets her wish in the end, albeit in a particlarly tragic way. Yet I didn't feel sad at the movie's ending; just somewhere between numb and relieved the ordeal was finally over for Ofelia and that she was happy at last.

While a difficult movie to find (as of today it's only playing on 609 screens nationwide), it's a movie well worth seeing and well worth seeking out to see it. Interestingly, the movie is #6 at the Box Office this week with $4.8 million gross despite the low amount of screens. (The #5is The Pursuit of Happyness with 3,066 screens, and the #7 is Freedom Writers at 2,286 screens.) I have to give this my highest recommendation (A+), despite the limited release and foreign language content.

~~JD~~

Weather and Forecasts

We had a little excitement here last week in the form of an ice storm. South Texas seems to lose it's collective mind whenever cold weather comes calling, and this was no exception. The TV meteorologists immediately moved into Full Panic Mode, prompting native San Antonians to descend en masse on the local Wal-Mart to buy bottled water, fireplace logs, and canned goods. I personally was involved in a feeding-frenzy like furball of shoppers trying to get fireplace logs at our local Wal-Mart.

Naturally, Ariane and I pretty much ignored the doom-and gloom warnings. We've been through Chicago winters, after all. So when they started sending people home early Monday afternoon, I told them to send everyone else before me.

So they did, and I drove home at 5pm admiring the cars in the ditches, the backed up traffic, and the pretty red-and-blue lights lining the interstates. One thing about South Texas drivers; (a) they drive too fast, (b) they'd rather die than yield the right-of-way, and (c) they have no idea how to drive in inclement weather. The least little disruption from "clear skies and sunny" and there's accidents a-plenty!

So on my way home I stopped for the fireplace logs in the aforementioned "furball", and settled in for a long winter's nap. Ariane had to work Tuesday morning and they were already beginning to talk about closing the interstates overnight, so she went to stay with another employee who only lived a block away.

For the next two days I ended up being one of five employees (out of almost 40) who showed up for work. School was cancelled; the Interstates were closed; and I drove merrily to work, using the techniques I've learned over a lifetime of living in the North. By Thursday we were back to half-staff; and by Friday it was business as usual.

And, of course, today it's clear blue skies and beautiful weather; typical South Texas. (Sigh.)

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Meanwhile, it was confirmed Friday -- I'm having surgery Wednesday February 7th. I've got a small to moderate sized abdominal hernia that I seem to recall getting during one of our moves about 10-15 years ago. This is good in that most hernias are Inguinal (in the groin area) and more complicated) -- mine's relatively simple and straightforward.

I have my appointment with the anesthesiologist on January 30th to get final approval, but barring anything unexpected popping up, it's a done deal. I expect to be out of work that week and return to work the next Monday. It'll be my second surgery in my life if you count the Lasik on my eyes three years ago. However, it'll be the first time I've ever had actual General (completely out) anesthesia, so that's a little scary right there. And there's always the question of recovery times being as accurate as advertised, which is also scary. However, being stubborn as a damned mule is a great motivator, so that's in my favor.

I think.

~~JD~~

Why Fidel Castro is literally a Pain in the Ass

This is the latest as of today on Cuba's brutal communist dictator Fidel Castro; and one of the few articles that actually is specific enough to explain his recent appearance:

Cuban leader Fidel Castro in "very grave" condition- Spanish paper

El Pais said, "A grave infection in the large intestine, at least three failed operations and various complications have left the Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro, laid up with a very grave prognosis."

Ailing Cuban leader Fidel Castro is in "very grave" condition after three failed operations and complications from an intestinal infection known as diverticulitis, a Spanish newspaper said Tuesday.

The newspaper El Pais cited two unnamed sources from the Gregorio Marañon hospital in the Spanish capital of Madrid. The facility employs surgeon Jose Luis Garcia Sabrido, who flew to Cuba in December to treat the 80-year-old Castro.

In a report published on its Web site, El Pais said, "A grave infection in the large intestine, at least three failed operations and various complications have left the Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro, laid up with a very grave prognosis."

El Pais said that in December, when Garcia Sabrido visited, Castro had an abdominal wound that was leaking more than half a litre (1 pint) of fluids a day, causing "'a severe loss of nutrients." The Cuban leader was being fed intravenously, the report said.

On 26 July 2006, Castro celebrated Cuba's Revolution Day by attending a rally of party faithful. That was the last time Castro was seen in public.

Five days later, on July 31, 2006, Castro stunned the nation and the world when he announced he had undergone surgery and was provisionally ceding his powers as head of the government and the Communist Party to his brother Raul, five years younger, and for decades the nation's number 2.

At the end of that month, Castro underwent emergency intestinal surgery and his brother Raul Castro became acting leader of the country.

While Castro himself was not seen in public, video of him meeting his chief ally, Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez, appeared on television while Chavez was on a trip to Havana for a meeting of the 14th Annual Non-Aligned Summit, which the Cuban leader was unable to attend. The then United Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan also visited Castro at the leader's home in the capital.

By the end of October 2006 the Cuban leader appeared on national television looking particularly frail after having undergone surgery. In November, Castro was unable to attend his own five-day 80th birthday celebrations, which he himself had postponed from August 13 to give him time to recover from surgery.

Castro's actual medical condition was kept a state secret, fuelling internal and external speculation as to his precise physical state. El Pais' report, which could not immediately be confirmed, was a rare detailed description from a major media outlet about Castro's condition.

I've been a nurse for 26 years. Let's talk about diverticulitis.

Diverticulitis is an inflamation of the small intestine, and a chronic condition -- meaning it has been going on most likely for years. A member of my family had this condition all of her adult life. The "end result" (please pardon the pun) is that you end up having extremely painful bowel movements every time you go number two. The symptoms of this disease involve extreme pain, cramping, uncontrollable gas, and BMs that are composed of largely blood and pieces of your own flesh from the intestines.

So while Castro has been a pain in the ass for Cuba for years, he's been a pain in his own ass for even longer. This also explains why he looks so angry much of the time and never smiles.

Peritonitis is a common complication of diverticulitis in older people. At some point he stopped having BMs of small pieces of his intestines and crapped a large enough piece to perforate through to his abdominal cavity, and his feces (caca) caused a small, gradual infection of his peritoneal lining of his abdomen. If the pain and cramping of diverticulitis is bad, the pain of peritonitis is a whole quantum leap forward from there. If you've ever seen an old western where the sidekick was "gut-shot," he had peritonitis and was dying horribly and slowly. It was not uncommon to give such a person a pistol to shoot themselves and put themselves out of their misery.

In many ways this is a far worse fate than cancer, where you lose your faculties towards the end. Peritonitis keeps you lucid and in excruciating pain right up to the end. In some cases you don't actually die of the infection, but or starvation, as the peritoneal lining is what absorbs nutrients from the intestines into the bloodstream.

So any way you look at it, Castro is dying painfully, horribly, and slowly. Truly there is justice in the universe. And if you believe in God as I do, it only gets better when he soon burns in hell slowly. I'm not shedding any tears when this Loser dies.

~~JD~~

We want SAWIN! We Want SAWIN! WE WANT SAWIN!!!

Mike Sawin, I know you're out there! I can see you peeking in from the "St. Cloud MN" notes on the sidebar, buddy. I know your blog hasn't been decently updated since August, and barely touched since October.

You've got friends who are worried about you, Mike. Call me -- let me know how things are going. If you need anything let me know, buddy. I'm worried.

(For those of you whom are not Mike Sawin, his blog is to be found on the right sidebar under the LEGENDS! area.

~~JD~~

Whatever Happened to the "Queen of Nice"?

Just a rhetorical question question, mind you . . . not that I'm speaking about any real figures; either living or dead. Think of this as a cautionary morality play. (And just in case you're wondering who the heck I'm talking about, click the enclosed links for hints.)

So, once upon a time there was a girl named ROSIE. She started out as a comedian, then worked her way into some movies. After that, she branched out into a Talk Show in 1996. She modeled herself after Mike Douglas, a beloved TV Talk show host of the 1960's and 1970's who was often noted for his being nice to his guests. Rosie, she decided, would be the "Queen of Nice."

She left her talk show in 2002 after 6 years, and took over Rebook magazine, which almost immediately failed in 2003. Rosie was sued by the magazine's publisher, claiming the magazine went under due to Rosie's "uncooperative, rude and violent behavior within the magazine's offices." One former employee of the magazine and breast cancer survivor who testified that O'Donnell said to her on the phone that "people who lie die of cancer."

Since that time Rosie has been the object of considerable controversry. She came out of the closet and "married" her longtime companion and adopted four children. She's been very vocal in criticizing anyone even remotely thought to b homophobic, like the incident with Kelly Ripa and Clay Aiken in September ohttp://www.michellemalkin.com/archives/006506.htmf 2006. In December she mimicked Chinese speech, drawing the ire of commentators such as Michelle Malkin, an ethnic Filipino. Later that same month she criticized Donald Trump for giving Miss America Tara Reiud a second chance while she goes to Rehab for drinking underage -- leading to a currently ongoing fued that has been both ongoing, personal, and volatile.

Which makes me wonder . . . whatever happened to the "Queen of Nice"?

Rosie was never known for her manners or gentility even before her talk show -- yet she suddenly remodeled herself into a "Nice" person. And, obviously, she has been nothing like a "Nice" person since then, either.

So, where you being a hypocrite then, Rosie? Or are you being a hypocrite now?

"People who lie die of cancer," Rosie? I hope you have good insurance, then.

~~JD~~

Restaurant Recommendation

Here's something you don't see me do everyday -- recommend a restaurant. There's a lot of good restaurants I really like, but they tend to fall into one of two categories; individual restaurants (in which case I'm wasting the time of 99.9% of my audience), and chains, which frequently are good, but not good enough to wholeheartedly recommend. Red Lobster restaurants are consistently good enough to eat at anywhere you go, and to recommend. So are Carrabba's Italian restaurants -- best Italian -- Ever.

The Islamorada Fish Company Restaurants are my new favorite as of this morning. They currently have 10 locations across the U.S. in Bass Pro Shops, and are soon to open their newest location in . . . Portage Indiana! (So all you Valpo folks can go check out that new Bass Pro Shop in the Ameriplex this spring and have dinner at the Islamorada Fish Company Restaurant.

Based on the Snack Bar in the Florida Keys made famous by Ernest Hemingway's writings, the restaurant features the kind of stuff you'd expect from a "Fish Restaurant: -- fish, shrimp, oysters, and calamari. But they offer it fried, baked, and deep fried, as well as raw on the shell. Their portions are reasonable if not ample; and the prices reasonable as well.

The menu runs the gamut for the outdoorsman with some of the most exotic fare you'll find in a restaurant anywhere, and certainly exotic for any chain. Calamari Fritti is hard to find outside of Italian or seafood places and hard to find then (it's one of my favorite foods, so I know whereof I speak here). But breaded and pan-fried alligator is downright impossible outisde of a few rare places in Florida. And the only place I've ever seen Buffalo Burgers was in the famous Wall Drug in Wall, South Dakota. They open the meal with a loaf of "Bimini Bread", which is a freshly-baked loaf with a sugar crust and real butter. The waiter said it was the only reason he worked there, and it was an excellent reason. I had the Buffalo Burger and Calamari, while Julian had the Conch Chowder and Mahi-Mahi and Ariane had the Grouper, and everything was absolutely delicious. For dessert I had the Key Lime pie from an original recipe from the Keys -- which was a bit weird for my tastes, but still very good.

(Note to my cousin Jon if Florida: they have two of these places in Florida and a third under construction -- it's worth the trip. The fish tank in the middle of the restaurant should keep the kids entertained through the meal, too.)

~~JD~~

A Short Rant About the Movies . . .

WARNING -- ONCOMING RANT!!! BATTEN THE HATCHES! HIDE THE WOMMENFOLK!!! SHELTER THE CATS AND DOG!!! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES

I just finished a post (below) about some of the movies I've seen over Christmas, and it got me to thinking. As I was typing up that post, the movie Munich by Steven Spielberg was on HBO. It's a good movie; and I remember reading and enjoying the book it was based on. So, generally speaking, I like the movie Munich.

However, the movie always sticks out in my mind for three reasons. First, there's a fairly graphic sex scene at the beginning of the movie. Second, the assasination of the Dutch hooker/assasin with the full frontal nudity it involves. Third and finally, the very graphic sex scene at the end of the movie.

Since when did seeing a "Spielberg Movie" involve full frontal nudity and graphic sex?

This seems to be the new trned in Hollywood, unfortunately. Viggo mortenson and John hurt, two of my favorite actors, were in the recent A History of Violence. It's an excellent movie in which Mortenson plays an ex-hitman who has "retired" to the rural life. This is another movie that needs Oscar consideration, in my opinion.

But I wouldn't recommend it to you unless you can stomach both a graphic oral sex scene in the beginning of the movie as well as an equally graphic rape scen 2/3rds of the way through the film.

I suppose that just goes to show how deperately out-of-touch the Hollywood types are. If they think graphic sex is a necessary indgredient for a hit movie, that's a sad commentary.

I expected better of Spielberg, though -- but with the potty-mouths on those kids in E.T., I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised.

End of Rant -- return to your regularly scheduled lives now.

~~JD~~

Wrapping Up 2006 With some Family News

You may (or may not) have noticed that I've been posting a lot less the last few months. One of the major reasons for this is the e-Blogger (the service I use) has Upgraded itself to version 2.0. While this has resulted in some neat new features being added to the 'blog (note the Interactive "Blog Archive" and "Labels" sections that have appeared recently) it also meant that the service that I use to upload photos -- called "Hello" -- has stopped working with e-Blogger; which is stupid, because they're BOTH owned by Google!

However, after a few concerted hours of poring over the Help File with this new version, I found out there's a way to directly upload pictures to the 'blog without using Hello. Case in Point:

Julian is driving now. He's actually quite good at it, too. He drove to and from church this morning with only a few small problems (keeps forgetting to check over his shoulder before changing lanes -- that'll hurt him someday.)

Julian and i went to Oktoberfest in, actually, November, here in New Braunfels Texas. If you think a town named "New Braunfels" sounds like it was settled by German settlers, you're exactly right on. For some reason south Texas attracted Germans like flies to honey (as we say down here.) We've got German-as-german-can-be communities like St. Hedgwig, New Braufels, and Castroville (settled by folks from the Alsace-Lorraine valley -- which means they speak a weird mish-mash of german and french -- that Ariane and I understand pretty well.) In fact, south Texas is home to Texas Lutheran University -- the second largest Lutheran school in the U.S. -- right after Valparaiso University. Behind Julian are the falls that power the Grist Mill the german settlers operated in early new Braunfels (look lower left in the shadow.)

And besides the fabulous pastries . . . the Incredible knockwursts and bratwursts and bloodwursts and schnitzels and strudels and turkey legs (guaranteed to drive my blood sugar through the roof) -- besides the margarita booths side-by-side with the german beer booths . . . . there were a lot of guys in lederhosen, like this guy. He was actually part of a band playing waltzes and oom-pah music and Heavy on the Accordian stuff -- most of which was playing in one of TWO circus tents set up for that -- as well as an honest-to-God Oktoberfest-type hall with a wooden dance floor and wood paneling and arches and ceiling, with plaques with the coats of arms of all the major families that settled New Braunfels.

Wonderful - truly magical. Reminded me of the one Oktoberfest I attended in Belgium. Very authentic! I saw this guy waiting in the line for fried -potatoe -somethings that were just incredible. Julian tried to weasel the recipe out of a very cute blonde girl wearing a St. Puli Girl type-dress, but to no avail.

A few weeks later Julian once again cooked Thanks- giving dinner for the family. Ariane wanted me to make the twice-baked garlic potatoes (featured prominently mid-center in the photo -- A-hem!) and the pies are store-bought, but Julian made the roast, the veggies, and the trimmings.

Not long after Thanks- giving we lost one of out cats, Poupette (pronounced "Pooh-Pet" -- it's french for "little doll.") She was 17 years old and the most unusual cat I've ever been owned by. (Yeah, like you thought humans owned cats -- shows how much you know!) She was half-siamese so she had an unusual amount of curiosity and intelligence for a cat. Whenever I called home she would meow into the phone while Floune talked to me, or vice versa. She used to climb in Julian's crib as a baby and would be very protective of him -- almost like at 'watch-cat" until he went off to school. In he later years she had problems swallowing and hyperthyroidism which left her painfully thin and frail. When she couldn't sleep and cried all night in pain, we knew it was time.

Best damned cat I ever had -- and that's saying something.


Have I mentioned how much I love south Texas? 65 degrees on new Year's Eve. Beautiful gentle breezes and sunny afternoon.

Work and school are going surprisingly well for both of us. Ariane got the maximum raise (yet again) from Univeristy Hospital for her excellent work and team- player ethic. She's really the glue that holds her little clinic together. She got three A's and one B in her classes (the B was in Anatomy Lab). I've gotten several positive comments at my new clinic and told just Friday that they're very happy with my work, as well as several positive comments from the patients (which always looks good for your boss.) I got an A in my Anatomy Lab and had an A in Chemistry until I had to drop it for health reasons -- but more on that next month when I know more.

See You Next Year!

Gliding Into Another Christmas Season

Well, the Tree's up, the balcony's trimmed in Lights, the little ceramic tree that reminds me so much of the one my Nana had in her Dining Room every year is ablaze with light, and Julian's bathroom is festooned with a veritable army of Nutcrackers.

Yup -- gotta be Christmas!

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School's out for the semester -- got an "A" in A&P. Ariane got 3 "a"'s and a "B" in A&P lab -- which she's quite annoyed about. (Heh.)

Ariane & I have started taking walks every Sunday -- 2.5 miles, brisk pace, 30 minutes. She's lost 45 pounds since the beginning of summer, and inspired me to do a bit myself. I've lost 5 pounds since Thanksgiving. I think the dog's even lost some weight -- she goes with us on out long Sunday walks, and loves every step. The dog and I even take shorter 2-mile (20 minute) brisk walks every day.

Did I mention the monster honkin' hill in the middle of the walk that get's the ol' Target Heart Rate into the redline? God, how I HATE that hill -- but it's fun to stand on the top and think "I BEAT that bastard, didn't I?"

It's a good feeling, really.

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And in case anyone was planning to visit us next summer, make it later in the summer. We're in the midst of planning our trip to France and Belgium next June and July. Ariane will go first for two weeks with Julian -- who will stay there for two more weeks -- then I'll go and bring him back. This allows Julian to maximize his stay time, and get a month's worth of immersion into French language and culture -- before i go get him and get my two weeks of immersion.

By God, I'm going to see the Louvre this time or die trying, too. I'd love to see an orchestra if we can manage it -- but I'm planning on spending pretty mch every night in the Grand Place of Brussels or on the Champs d'Elysee drinking a ridiculously- overpriced liter of fine German Beer and watching the tourists go by.

Ah, how I've missed that!

I doubt anyone's really planning any visits -- all of Ariane's family has laready visited from Europe, and none of mine have managed it yet from Chicagoland.

Still, if it was on your list -- speak now or forever hold your peace.

~~JD~~

The Nurse is Outraged. . . .

I was surfing past the DIXONVERSE Message Boards today when I found this post:

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A guilty pleasure of mine is Grey's Anatomy. At least it was until this season. I thought the first two seasons were just quirky enough for this show, sort of a "dramatic Scrubs" or a "surgical ER", to work. This season they go and do something that has morally outraged me so much, that I can't stand to watch the show anymore.
In a nutshell, one of the characters, a student doctor named Izzy, was in love with a heart patient named Denny. Denny needed a new heart, BAD. But there was someone on the list before him. Izzy deliberately worsened Denny's condition to bump him up on the list. Long story short, Denny still dies. Izzy is found out and she quits. And the other doctors cover for her.
There's no outrage about what she did. For all we know she killed Denny by worsening his condition and she may have killed another patient by bumping Denny on the list, another doctor is shot while trying to rush back to tend to Denny. And the big outrage of the other doctors is none of that, but that she quit surgical medicine. On top of everything else, she inherits eight million dollars from Denny. And people wonder why I'm not an organ donor. (That's not it, but that's not the point.)
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After reading this description I remember why I don't watch network TV anymore. "Melodramatic Pap" is the nicest thing I can say here -- but's let's go over the legal and ethical lapses here.

(1). {{one of the characters, a student doctor named Izzy, was in love with a heart patient named Denny.}}

Besides this being a cliched and tired plot device, it's unethical for a health care provider to engage in relationships of any kind with their patients, whether business, personal, or professional. Falling in Love and having ANY kind of a relationship with a patient will get your license suspended in most states. I've seen it happen once.


(2). {{Izzy deliberately worsened Denny's condition to bump him up on the list. Long story short, Denny still dies.}}

Izzy is guilty of murder, pure and simple. The motives are not relevant -- she deliberately caused a series of events to occur that resulted in the death of Denny, and possibly the other individual who was higher on the list than Denny. So, possibly TWO counts of murder. Even if you have compassion (?!?!?!) on Izzy for the love angle, the other person on the list will probably die because of Izzy's manipulations of the transplant list; which in itself is a felony in every state.


(3). {{Izzy is found out and she quits. And the other doctors cover for her.}}

She's damned lucky she was "allowed" to quit -- she should have been terminated from the program and arrested. Any one of the felonies mentioned above should disqualify her from ever working in the Healthcare field again -- not to mention the ethical breaches, for God's sake!

And the other doctors who covered for her? They are now Accessories After The Fact, and liable for the death(s) of these patients as well. THESE are the kinds of doctors you want treating you -- who lie to cover up an unethical murderer?


(4). {another doctor is shot while trying to rush back to tend to Denny.}}

I wish this was just bad writing to enhance the drama -- unfortuantely, this, too, is a consequence of Izzy's sophmoric lovestruck actions. Harm that ensues in the commission of a felony is also actionable. The fact that these alleged "doctors" show no outrage that one of their own was injured by Izzy's hormonally-driven idiocy just shows how brain-dead these writers are. All you need is Love, baby, and it's all okay in the end.


(5). {{ On top of everything else, she inherits eight million dollars from Denny.}}

This is the point that pushed my Suspension of Disbelief right out the window. I don't care how much of a "friend" I am to Izzy -- I'm going to seriously question whether or not Izzy manipulated the emotions of a wealthy patient in order to get into his will, then killed him for the money.

Maybe I just watch too many cop shows, but any physician who will violate half a dozen laws and codes of ethical behavior for no apparent reason is unstable -- but when the money comes into play, it's cold-blooded murder.

So, it’s back to the History Channel for me! I saw a fantastic episode of their series “Man, Moment, Machine” the other night on General Patton at the Battle of the Bulge. I knew he was a magnificent tank commander – but I had no idea he actually INVENTED the American Tank Corps – twice; both in World Wars I & II. His literal “point man” during the Bulge was a young Lieutenant Colonel named Ceighton Abrams – the man they named the M-1 Tanks after. Abrams engaged in a one-on-one running shootout with a German Panzer Tank to open the way for the relief of the 101st Airborne Division.


Which reminds me again why I don’t watch network television . . .

~~JD~~

Is It October Already?

Man, it's hard to tell down here. The daytime temperature's still in the 90's -- the nighttime has finally dipped into the 60's -- which is nice. It reminds me what I'm missing -- which isn't that much. Ariane & I have talked about driving up to the Hill Country to see the leaves change the last 4 years -- and still haven't done it.

Not really likely to, either.

My personal dream would be to retire to the Virgin Islands. This sunlit, warm, happy little territory of the USA is a year-round 78 degrees with balmy tradewinds constantly. It also (being something of a territory) manages to not have any Income Taxes -- always a big plus. It boasts two hospitals and three dialysis clinics, so we'd never want for work, certainly. It's far enough east (one time zone east of New York City, anyway) that it rarely gets hurricanes -- the last one was Hurricane Hugo in 1990. The major industry is tourism -- it's a major stopover for Cruise Ships. The average median income $14,500.00, so cost of living is low.

I could learn to love it. Quickly. And I still remember my great-grandpa Albright's lessons on how to fish -- and clean the fish.

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I had a fascinating conversation with a friend earlier this week. He's one of those people who's had an NDE -- a Near-Death Experience. He and I were comparing our relative hard times recently, and he's had the added fun experience of his wife asking for a divorce as well. So we're comparing notes, and in the process of all this he tells me of his NDE -- how he went to heaven, saw God, and how it changed it life.

At all of six years old.

Honestly, if he wasn't one of my best friends who I've known for years, I'd have thought he was off his rocker.

So we're talking at length, and he tells me -- "Actually, I'm kind of suicidal."

Huh? "Sure you are. Quit yanking my chain, bub."

"No, really, JD. If I could figure out a way to do it and still go to heaven, I'd kill myself right now."


Quiet pause. "Really?"

He pauses back, to the point I thought maybe the phone connection was lost. "Really, JD." He pauses again, and i can hear the choke creeping into his voice. "You have no idea how much I want to go home -- to my real home. It's time like this I miss it so much. I feel like a complete failure, even though I know in my heart it's just another test of faith. But I . . . I just get so tired."

I had to regroup a little here. "Y'know, you're scaring me here, babe. Tell me you're not going to do anything to yourself."

"Aw, HELL no. Suicide is the ultime expression of self-interest -- of self-hatred. It's completely against the will of God, man. That's why a suicide can't enter Heaven -- and that's why I'd never do it. I've been there, man, and I wanna go back so bad I can taste it."

Okay, a little convoluted, but I understood the reasoning. Sort of. "So, what are you going to do?"

"Hell if I know. She promised me when we got engaged she'd never divorce me, but she's the one asking now. I think I'm just not going to do anything. She wants the divorce -- she can pay for it. I won't agree to it, and it will cost her a lot of money. I'll ask for custody -- maybe that will change her mind. We'll see."


Divorce by passive resistance. That's a new one.

~~JD~~

Another Great Reason to LOVE South Texas . . . .

From September 21st at about 7pm; Blue skies, 92 degrees, and a gentle southerly breeze. It's just . . . . Magical. And this on the first day of autumn!

I'm in the process of looking for another job.

Yes, yes, I know . . . (sigh). That'll be three jobs this year.

It's of my own volition, but I feel fairly justified in the move. One of the (male, married) physicians gave one of the (female, unmarried) Medical Assistants an eight inch long black dildo for her birthday yesterday.

Yes, I said Dildo.

Let's just put aside for a minute that an employer has no business EVER giving an employee any kind of sex toy, whether as a birthday present seriously or (pardon the pun) fallaciously. Let's ignore the fact that no 40-year-old married man has any business whatsoever giving his single, twenty something employee any type of suggestive gift. Let's even ignore the fact he's very well-connected in his church and social settings.

The worst part is that a patient overheard the girls talking about it from her exam room and was outraged -- and left furious. The ca-ca should well and truly hit the fan next week.

Now, I don't think I'm a prude by anyone's estimation. In fact, some might say I even dance too close to line sometimes with my estimation of what's acceptable and what's not. But even I find this a wholly inappropriate, vulgar, base, disgusting, crude gift that had no business being anywhere near a business office. Do it on your own time; throw her a party; get her drunk somewhere and give her that gift if you want -- but NOT-in-a-place-of-business.

And, dear God in Heaven, NOT where the patients can hear you!!!


So . . . I'm looking for a new job. You understand.

~~John~~

Miscellaneous & Sundry; Part VIIII

Six Weeks it's been since I posted last . . . . No Foolin'? Wow.

*This new job is a blast, truly. Ariane says she hasn't seen me smile this much since we were married and came back to the states in Missouri.

**As part of the new job I'm now a Notary Public. I'm also IV certified. The educational opportunities never cease. This week I attended 4 days of classes on a new Electronic Medical Records to be a SuperUser (read: "Trainer") for the clinic when we go live the last week of the month. It's estimated to save the company on the order of $10,000.00 per month. Yeesh -- lotsa money!

***And, of course, I start classes the last week of August again for my RN. This sememster: Chemistry and Anatomy & Physiology II. God help me -- I miss the challenge.

****Julian, is, of course, back from Japan. his pictures from the trip are available at the previous link Right Here. See if you can spot the kid in the class photos.

*****It's 99 degrees in San Antonio. We're under Stafe I drought restrictions. The city is literally carpeted with flocks of butterflies like most residents have never seen in years previous.

Man, how I love this place.

~~JD~~

Julian in Japan -- Not a Hoax, Not a Dream, Not an Imaginary Story!

Julian's been gone just over a week now, and due back on this coming Thursday morning (the 22nd). His teacher (Ms. Valentine) was kind enough to e-mail this picture to us, which Julian sent the accompanying comment:

"I have better pictures than this of me."

What a chatterbox, eh?






Ms. Valentine was also kind enough to set up a makeshift web page for the families to see what was going on. (Click on the Title of this post or the words "makeshift webpage" to see the web page itself, and watch for further updates.) In this picture Julian is the second from left in Shadow. Considering that Julian and the first kid there (his buddy Austin) are the two musicians in the gang, this photo reminds me of a lost cover to some Rock Group's album or something.

The kid in the back digging for gold (His name is Diego) is the class clown of the group. I'm fairly certain that photo op was staged.




And this is The Lineup; the moment the American Exchange Students meeet the preschoolers they are teaching English to. Just give THAT moment a thought: in Japan, they start teaching English to their Pre-K Students.

Did I mention Julian is 6'2" this year?

You can select the appropriate caption here, or make up your own:

"AAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!! Giant Gaijin Americans!!!!!

"Oh Look -- they're remaking Gulliver's Travels."

"Does anyone else here feel like Godzilla?"




This is my favorite, which I call "Noodle-Boy." Notice how the pre-schooler next to him looks very relaxed and a bit happy. Julian has always had a way with kids, and it shows. (Some of the other pre-schoolers look positively terrified in the other pictures!)

And Julian is only helping with his mastery of chopsticks, which must make him seem less scary. This kid has had his own custom pair of chopsticks for 8 years, and uses them well.

~~JD~~

Complete and Utter Tool of the Year . . . For the Last Five Years

***UPDATED: Thursday June 15th, 2006 -- See Below***




Got a call Wednesday (which is why I missed posting last Wednesday). Thought I'd take a minute and explain why here.

A Private Investigator called and informed me (pursuant to Texas Law) that he had been retained to locate assets for Citi Financial to collect due to their re-opening collections on a 2000 Lincoln Towncar Limousine.

A What??? A 2000 Lincoln Towncar? My car with Professional One was a 1997 Lincoln Towncar. (That's my golden Towncar behind Tool-Boy in the photo above.)

He gave me the name of Mr. Shirette at Stevens & Michaels Associates for point of contact. I called him immediately; he was "Out to Lunch" at 2pm. I waited an hour, then called again. After a brief conversation learned that he had some kind of information that either (a) the limousine was NOT covered by our 2002 bankruptcy (he kept referring to it as a "business bankruptcy"), or (b) that we may have concealed funds from the company, thus invalidating the limousine company bankruptcy in 2002. (Again with the "business bankruptcy.")

I explained to him that we had declared a personal bankruptcy in 2002 on our lawyer's advice and referred him to that lawyer. I also told him that he needed to let My ex-business partner and his psychotic girlfriend (and I named their names to him) know that this type of statement against us was both fraudulent and harrassment and that they had been stalking us prior to our departure from Indiana in 2002. Some of you may remember that ugly little time; the midnight phone calls, the changed phone numbers, the police called when creditors were beating on my front door with a baseball bat, and the threat by the girlfriend to "blow your f***ing head off if I wasn't a Christian."

He paused for a moment when I said that; then he as much as confirmed it was these two by mentioning their names back to me and let me know he would look into this and contact my lawyer.

I'm sure these two doofuses were involved because they have repeatedly insisted the Professional One closure was a Business bakruptcy, not a personal bakruptcy -- even though they received the notices just like everyone else did.

I called my lawyer's office and told Shirley (my lawyer's secretary) what had happened and that I suspected Tweedledum and Tweedledumber; Shirley replied "Oh, Honey, they call here once or twice a month." Seems they've been really busy trying to do everything possible to confuse, obstruct, and otherwise screw up the bankruptcy closing for the last five years, and now that it has finally closed, they've redoubled their efforts to do everything possible to try to make my life miserable.


Five years.


Five years later, and they still can't let go and get on with their lives.


Also, I'd very much like to know how Citi Financial got hold of our unlisted phone number and gave it to this Private Investigator. The lawyer's on that one as well -- and probably wondering why in the heck he ever accepted this simple bankruptcy from hell.

The truly funny part is that when Ariane and I were debating renewing our Mailbox at the UPS Store last month, we had a spirited discussion over whether these two were nutso enough to carry a grudge this long. We both agreed they wern't, but Ariane wanted to keep it "just for the peace of mind." Good thing we did, eh?

Ah, if the Valparaiso Prosecutor had only pressed the embezzlement charges I wanted, lo those five years ago.

UPDATE: I may yet get my wish, one way or the other.

Mr. Shirette called back Wednesday night, and I returned his call Thursday. He was very apologetic (as he well should be -- contacting the debtor in a Bankruptcy case is strictly prohibited by Federal Law; and we could've very easily gotten him into a LOT of trouble had we been the vindictive bastards My former business partner says we are.) He asked if I minded talking with him for a minute, which I didn't -- so I did. His major question was what happened to the limousines after the bankruptcy, and I told him that they had been towed away by a company out of Chicago, and that this company had the name and phone number of the people who had originally sold us the cars and financed them to us. I even offered to provide the documentation for the repossession of the cars (I still have all the paperwork stored away here -- I anticipated these kinds of idiocy.)

So, apparently, the finance company absconded with the cars somehow. Or, at least, someone absconded with the cars.

Hmmmm . . . I wonder who that could have been.

Meanwhile, Mr. Shirette is very annoyed (to put it mildly) as to who is wasting his time and getting him a potential Federal Rap for violating the terms of a Bankruptcy.

Be afraid, Mister Crowe. Be VERY afraid, Ms. White. You were stupid enough to give him your callback number on the Caller ID.

~~JD~~

Miscellaneous & Sundry; Part VIII

1.) It's Saturday Night. I'm full of Guiness -- I'm celebrating. Sue me.

2.) I'm absolutely fascinated by the ClustrMaps to the right side of the 'blog that shows where people are looking in on tghis little 'blog. Some of them I know about and understand; for instance, the big circles in Minnesota, London, Paris, Chicago, Virginia, and St. Louis MO are explained by my friends and family (Mike Sawin in Minneapolis; Paul Sheik-Hossen in Paris & London; Nancy Gertsmeier in Valpariso IN, and my sister Kathy and friend Trevor Burroughs in Virginia; and friend John Gerdes in St. Louis.)

Those I understand.

But what's with that guy in Portugal. Who's the doofus in Argentina, or in Thailand who's looking at my 'blog? Who the heck in Venezuela is reading these pages? In Spain? In Italy?

Heck, who's that in Florida, or Kansas, or Canada?

For some reason this just tickles me to pieces!

(And for some reason, spelling seems to be incredibly complex while I'm inebriated.)

If you haven't tried this, click on that little map with all the red circles on it. It's just under the counter and right above Bert's smiling face.

3.) I've added a few new 'blogs and websites to the links available on the right side. Two I'd strongly recommend are Frontline Forum and Midnight in Iraq. They're 'blogs maintained by military folks currently stationed in Iraq; so this is news straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak. Take a second to take a gander and let me know what you think.

4.) MAN, they have a lot of good vintages available in Texas.

5.) Just for everyone who's wondering; we're not very likely to travel this year. We're still waiting for the INS to issue Ariane a new Green Card. Until she gets a new Green Card (the old one having been stolen when she was mugged last year), we're pretty much stuck here.

Deportation is a very real possibility without your Green Card in South Texas, particularly now.

So; how's by you folks right now?

~~JD~~

God is Gracious, God is Truly Good

Or, as we say in South Texas, . . .


YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!


I got the job.

The GOOD job -- the one where I run the clinic, for a substantial pay increase (almost 25% greater than my last pay rate)


YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!





Plus Julian is leaving next Thursday for two weeks in Japan as an exchange student.

Julian!

Exchange Student!

JAPAN!!!


I'm so damned proud of that kid!

~~JD~~

Christian Ways To Reduce Stress

My buddy Brenda sent this, and I think it's very much worth passing on.

*****************************************

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray. Pray Hard. Pray Frequently. Pray Often.

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and un-clutter your life.

7. Less is more. Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time, don't lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about it, forget it -- don't worry about it.

12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key
buried in the garden, extra stamps, an extra can of antiperspirant, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble. There is no requirement for you to talk at any time. Be comfortable with silence -- many people are not.

15. Do something for the Kid in you everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you, Jesus."

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude. Most people are doing the best they can.

31. Be kind to unkind people They probably need it the most.

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

~~JD~~

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

Or, "Unemployment as an Exercise in Faith."

I quit my job about a month ago. (For more information on that little issue see the previous post Neglecting The Neglected of Society.) When I did it I was sure I had another job at a Nursing Home to cover me. However, my last week of work, my potential new employer called to let me know "The nurse who quit has decided to stay -- so we don't have a position open now. Sorry."

Now, as a former employer in my own right I can understand why they would want to keep an employee who's already trained and whom they know; versus a new employee they'll have to train who's an unknown quantity.

Nevertheless; what's a man without honor? What sorts of persons are we who do not keep our word?

I mean -- Damn!

Fortunately for me I had 6 days of Holiday time saved up and my former employer agreed to let me stay and additional week, so my last paycheck was more like two paychecks put together. Nevertheless, next week is "Fish-or-cut-bait" time here. I need to get employed by next Friday -- no excuses.

The first week I hit the streets like I used to work; up in the morning by 6am, shower, shave, eat breakfast -- start distributing resumes and filling out applications by 9am and home by 6pm. I did this the first four days, sprinkling a few first interviews in there as well, with more first interviews and a few second interviews for the fifth day. Thus endeth the first week.

By the start of the second week a strange feeling set in firmly that I'd started feeling some on the Tuesday of the first week. Dread. Inertia. Panic. Anxiety. Agitation, overlaid with a smothering sense of inevitability.


Depression.


It's an irrational fear, really. I know fully well that I'm doing everything possible to locate a new job. In fact, I (at this minute) have three very good offfers for employment. The first is to be the Wound Care Specialist in a Nursing Home on Day Shift, with standard benefits; the second is as a psychiatric nurse in a major Psych Hospital chain, offering Blue Cross Healthcare and willing to work with me on my schooling schedule. The third (which I did an unprecedented third interview for today, and the offer I'm still waiting to hear from) is to be a clinic manager for a local multi-clinic chain about 4 blocks from the apartment. Mondays through Fridays 8-5; great health and dental; very low employee turnover (which means nobody wants to leave this place), and very motivated, happy employees.

Yeah, I could stay there and work a long, loooonnnggggg time. If they offer more than the other two places (who are both offering the same I was making at my previous employer) I'll be really happy.

It helps to focus on the good things these potential employers are offering; otherwise I'm focussing on "why haven't they called!" or "I need to make a decision soon!" kind of panic-y stuff.

The thing that is incredibly frustrating to Ariane is that she's always accusing me of being impatient, when i feel the reverse is true. I've just put the whole thing in God's hands and pray at least once a day about it -- usually when I'm starting to feel the tendrils of depression creep in.

But I should know tomorrow for sure -- if not Friday. If not, I'm going to accept on of the other two offers and get it over with. I think I'd tend to go first with the Psychiatric Hospital, then the Nursing Home.

Maybe.

Well, we'll see.

Meanwhile, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers are running through my head.

Meanwhile, the tendrils of depression creep in. And the Dread. The Inertia. The Panic. The Anxiety. The Agitation, overlaid with a smothering sense of inevitability.

I'm praying hard. You pray hard too.

~~JD~~

I Probably Won't Be Posting Sunday

Tomorrow (Sunday, May 28th, 2006) is the Eighteenth Anniversary of my wedding with Ariane Patricia Marie Genvieve Sheik-Hossen one bright beautiful Sunny Saturday morning at 11:28am in the commune of Ixelles, in the great city of Brusselles, Belgium.

So you'll pardon me if I'm absent a day here. Instead, here's a brief restrospective of the wedding pictures I have.





Our Wedding, held in the Town Hall of Ixelles (a district of Brussells). We walked the block from Ariane's apartment to the town hall; a magnificent old stone and oak building built in 1611, as I recall.



"With this Ring, I thee wed." Actually it was a great deal more dramatic than that. When the Mayor of Ixelles started the ceremony, he said "Madames et Monseiurs, Bon Soir, Nous est rendez-vous ici pour le mariage de Jean-David Long et Ariane Sheik -Hossen . . . "and i suddenly realized something very important:

I had no idea what this guy was saying. My French was nowhere good enough to follow what he was saying, so I kept waiting for a pause -- figuring I would say Ï Do" when he paused -- no, wait, I should say "Oui!", right?

Finally, he pauses, and looks at me. I look back at him. Then I look at Ariane, who has this very strange look in her eye -- no, wait, that's tears! Do i say it now? What exactly do I say? Gripped completely and totally by panic, I froze -- only to hear my future mother-in-law's voice arcing out over the assembled crowd of guests:

"SAY IT, J.D., SAY "OUI!"

And the whole place cracked up. (We used to have a videotape of this -- it was hilarious.)





And this is himself, the Mayor or "Maire" of Ixelles commune. When he saw he was marrying an American soldier he went home and changed into his uniform with his Resistance Medals from WWII. He took it as a singular honor to marry an American soldier -- and I was honored to be married by him.





And, of course, our first married Kiss. The start of great things to come, and it's still as thrilling and exciting as it was eighteen years ago.

We'll be at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for dinner. Gotta go get some wine.

~~JD~~